The Beginning of a Friendship
by tweety04
Summary: The events of Series One through Guinevere's eyes with focus on the evolution of her relationship with Merlin (a fledgling crush to that of a good friend), Morgana (a servant to a good friend), and Arthur (the beginning of their friendship). Her relationship with Lancelot will be elaborated on to prepare for the events of future series.
1. Meeting Merlin

**I jumped on the Merlin bandwagon way late, but I discovered the show on Netflix this summer and fell in love. While I really enjoyed it I think that certain aspects of the show could have definitely been fleshed out and given more room to grow, particularly Gwen's character and her relationships. I feel that from Series 1 to Series 5 we saw two completely different characters. While this story will focus on her, everyone else will naturally be involved. Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: I own nothing

**Meeting Merlin**

There is a woman in the square today. Naturally, there's a woman in the square. In fact, there are many women there, but _she_ draws my attention. She stands amongst the crowd, tears streaming down her weathered face as a man is beheaded for the crime of sorcery in the center. I have never been one to support execution. I know why the King orders them; I am not blissfully ignorant to the evil of sorcery. But that never does make it any easier to see men and women who I have grown with, who I see every day, who I have relationships with, up above us on the execution block. Their deaths turned into spectacles that will remain ingrained in our minds until the next execution is carried out or a celebration is announced. I have always found it slightly repulsive that we are expected to come to support the king as he kills our friends and family. Maybe it is because I am always scared that my brother will come back to us in this way, a criminal and prisoner of Camelot. He always seems to be getting into trouble.

I shake away my thoughts as King Uther condemns the man. The crowd remains entranced by the scene upon the block, but again I can't keep my eyes off of _her_. She has gray, unkempt hair that she wears down on her shoulders over a brown smock. Her blue eyes do not leave the King the entire time as they shine with tears. I wonder what her relationship to the recently deceased.

"Magic," the King begins his customary monologue addressing us, informing us of the evils of magic.

It's all I can do to keep my gaze upon him, and not to glance down at the scene on the block. I can hear the executioner swing the axe back to its station in the center of the vacant block. I imagine it sitting there, dripping in new blood. No, he would wipe it off would he not? I am tempted to look, but I also fear my response.

I close my eyes, nearly able to feel the pain in what I know is her cry as he finishes. I don't think that I have ever heard such anguish from another person. I am forced to take a step back, as the crowd retreats from her. She steps forward, facing the King head on as a hush falls over the crowd. Her voice is clear, stronger than I had imagined it would be when she addresses him.

Her voice carries over the noise of the palace. Her words pain me as she reveals that she was his mother. I can only imagine how my mother would react if she were in the same situation. I can only imagine how I would react if I were to have a son on the block.

"And I promise you, before these celebrations are over. You will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth," her voice breaks. "A son for a son."

"Seize her!" Uther orders his men, and I watch in horror as the guards push through the crowd, reaching out to grab at the elderly woman.

She mutters something under her breath, and there is a swirling of the wind and dust around her. Her body is swept in the air as she disintegrates before my very eyes. The guards reach the spot on which she stands just as the final scrap of cloth disappears in the air. I stand rooted to my spot unable to comprehend what I have just seen. It is not until a young man apologizes to me that I realize that the majority of the crowd has dispersed ready to complete their duties of the day. There is a celebration to be had after all.

* * *

><p>"I don't see death as a cause for celebration," Morgana states angrily from behind the dressing screen. "And I don't see what I am to do there."<p>

"You are the King's ward, my lady," I respond, hurrying to pass her a nightgown, "and as future queen you must appear at peace with the King's decisions."

She steps around the screen, finding her reflection in the mirror. She turns to the side, lifting a cheekbone so that the candlelight casts a shadow upon the lower part of her face. She looks beautiful, striking even, with her pale skin and long dark hair falling into a long braid over her creamy white shoulders. Morgana is kind and sincere, and I can easily see her offsetting the bravado of Prince Arthur; she will be a queen that Camelot adores. They would be great compliments to one another one day.

She seems to remember that I am there, standing behind her as her eyes turn to my plain reflection in the background of the mirror, "You look beautiful, my lady."

"Thank you, Gwen. That will be all," I am dismissed. "Send my best wishes to your father."

"Thank you," I bow my head. "Goodnight, my lady," I pull the door behind as I exit her chambers.

Night falls upon the castle, casting eerie shadows on the stone walls. To many, I can understand seeing the palace as ominous in the evening hours, but this is my favorite time of day. There are new guards, guards who do not know me as well as those on daytime patrol. Sometimes, I like to think that I am a lady of the castle, walking to my own chambers or perhaps to those of my husband. Maybe it's my brother that I am visiting. Maybe Elyan is finally a knight, and I am here with him, united once again with our father. If we were a lord and lady of the palace then maybe my father wouldn't have to work so hard in his forge. I shake my head.

I think that every young girl has envisioned life behind the castle walls, and here I am, behind the walls. I am maid to the ward of the king. I wonder how proud my mother would be if she could see me now.

I walk with my shoulders back, but I turn my head to the grown when I hear voices approach me from the other end of the hallway. It's Prince Arthur with a few of his favorite knights. I walk against one side of the hall and pass unnoticed, glancing backwards when I hear them laugh. I look down to check my frock; everything seems to be in order. I push a curl behind my ear. No, they couldn't have been laughing at me.

I hurry past the knights that guard the entrance to the lower town and nearly run down the stairs, through the square, and to my father's modest home. I hope that he has prepared stew tonight as I am famished.

* * *

><p>He's a gangly thing, I think nervously as I watch a boy speaking to Prince Arthur down below. I don't think that I've seen Prince Arthur speak to anyone but a knight or his latest victim of target practice since he was a child. I continue to air out the Lady Morgana's dress, straining to hear what is going on down below.<p>

"Gwen?" I jump slightly hearing my name being called.

The young son of the cook runs into the kitchen barely stopping once he reaches me, "Your father is looking for you in town."

"What happened?" I ask fearfully.

"I'm not sure," he responds and with that I'm off, my father is all that I have left. "Emilia," I pass another maid in the corridor," can you finish drying the Lady Morgana's dress? I'm needed in the Lower town. The dress is hanging in the kitchen."

"Of course, Gwen."

"Thank you," I respond, reaching up to grab my dress so that I can run faster

I'm breathless when I reach my father's home.

"Father?" I call before I'm through the door. "Father, is everything alright?"

He's sitting at the table, a large smile pulls at his cheeks when he sees me, "Gwen."

"Is there something wrong? Henry said that you were looking for me," He stands from his seat, and I welcome his embrace as he pulls me to his chest.

"My dear girl," he takes my face in his hands, "I have an important question for you."

"Yes?"

"Pink or red?"

"Pardon me?"

"Do you prefer the color pink or the color red?"

"Father, I…"

"I was in the marketplace today, and I saw the most beautiful headdresses. I wanted to know if you would prefer one that is pink or one that is red."

I shake my head at his urgency, "You called me from the castle for my opinion on headdresses?"

"But as I couldn't find you," he continues on as if I hadn't spoken, "I bought both," he reaches down to the table that I had yet to look at.

"They are beautiful," I say slowly, examining their shade and the craftsmanship that has clearly gone into each of them, "but they are unnecessary, Father."

"Only the best for my daughter," I smile as he kisses my forehead.

"I'm needed back at the castle," I hate to disrupt the moment, but I cannot shirk my duties.

And I'm off once more, my legs carrying me quickly through the streets of Camelot. I pass through the square breathing a sigh of relief when I see no gallows prepared. There will be no deaths today, there are only the stocks set up for some poor soul's humiliation. I am set to walk past when I notice who is there, hunched over in the wood. It's the boy from the afternoon before.

"I'm Guinevere," I offer as an introduction, "but most people call me Gwen."

I chide myself for my tone. I said it as though I was unsure. Now he's going to think that I don't even know what my name is.

"I'm the Lady Morgana's maid," I continue, hoping that he can't see how nervous I am.

"Right, I'm Merlin," he reaches out a hand to mine, and I smile as I shake it. "But most people call me 'idiot'." My smile broadens, he's trying to make me feel better.

"No," I insist, "no, no, I saw what you did. It was so brave."

He disagrees, "It was stupid."

I can't argue there, "Well, I'm glad you walked away, you weren't going to beat him."

He seems to disagree, and I can't help but raise my eyebrows at his response, "Oh, I could beat him."

"You think?" my head cocks to the side, "Because you don't look like one of those big, muscly kind of fellows."

As soon as it's out of my mouth, I realize that he could take that as an insult. I mentally kick myself as I think of ways to retract my statement.

"Thanks," I can hear the sarcasm dripping off of his tongue, and I feel even worse.

"No," my head cocks again, and I chide myself. I always do that when I'm nervous and stumbling over my words. "I'm sure you're stronger than you look," he looks puzzled, and I hurry to continue. "It's just that Arthur's, um, one of those real rough, tough, save the world kind of men and…well…" I am about to back myself into a corner again.

"What?" he urges me to continue.

"Well, you don't look like that."

He beckons me closer, and I oblige, leaning in towards him, "I'm in disguise."

I giggle as I realize that he's only teasing me.

"It's great that you stood up to him," I try to salvage the beginning of this relationship through flattery.

"You think so?"

"Arthur's a bully. And everyone thought you were a real hero," my voice softens as I share my opinion.

In reality, I hadn't spoken to anyone else about the situation. I just didn't want him to know that I thought he was brave.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmm-hmm," I nod.

"Excuse me, Guinevere," his eyes look beyond me, and I turn to see a crowd of children standing before us. "My fans are waiting."

And I laugh stepping around him as the children begin to pelt him with tomatoes. I like Merlin.

* * *

><p>I must admit that I'm still thinking about him when I see him next. The last place that I would have expected to see him would be in my lady's chamber; and yet, here he is, obviously panicking at the thought of being caught by her.<p>

"Gwen?"

"I'm here," I raise an eyebrow at his presence.

He mouths wordlessly, making gestures that I think he's assuming that I will understand. I nod, assuming that the Lady Morgana needs me. I am right, and I quickly help with the fastenings on the back of her elegant, purple dress.

"So, it's whether I wear this little tease or give them a night they'll really remember."

* * *

><p>"She looks beautiful, doesn't she?" I approach Merlin, noting that every eye in the room, including his is on her.<p>

"Yeah," he drags out the response, obviously taking in her appearance.

I want to feel jealous, but I also know that his station would never permit him to do anything about his attraction to her.

"Some people are just born to be queen."

He seems taken aback, "No!"

I'm not really sure what he expected, "I hope so. One day," I'm afraid that my voice sounds too wistful, "Not that I'd want to be her," I don't want him to think that I'm ungrateful for my position or that I wish for my lady's position. I think every girl has dreamed of one day being queen, "Who would want to marry Arthur?" I roll my eyes, looking ahead to wear he is trying to talk to an obviously uninterested Lady Morgana near the front of the room.

I want to tell him that he cannot ignore her one second, and then decide to change his mind the minute that she puts on a revealing dress. I don't.

"Oh, come on, Gwen," Merlin's voice pulls me from my thoughts and prevents me from becoming too upset by the nerve of the prince. "I thought you liked those real rough, tough, save the world kind of men."

Did I say that? I wonder trying to recall the conversation that we had before. Had I said that? Because if that were the case then it wasn't true.

"No,' I quickly knock down his statement. "I like much more ordinary men like you."

But not him! I am screaming at myself in my head. I essentially just told Merlin that I liked him.

"Gwen, believe me, I am not ordinary."

"I didn't mean you. Obviously, not you." I try to put together my thoughts. "But just, you know, I like much more ordinary men." I pause trying to figure out what to say before weakly going with, "Like you."

I'm going to die from embarrassment.

"Thanks."

I need to be somewhere else. Anywhere else in this moment. I turn from him, busying my hands with adjusting the serving plate before me. This is not even my job, I shake my head at my idiocy before turning to get a drink for the Lady Morgana.

I thank the serving girl once I have the drink for my lady, walking behind the tables that separate me from the guests of the celebration. And as I reach her I realize she already has a drink. Now what am I supposed to do? I turn on my heel. There's Merlin. No, I want to go nowhere near him. I pivot again, and there's the Prince Arthur with his group of knights from the night before. I look for a familiar face, still reeling from my embarrassing admission. Maybe he didn't notice? I let out a relieved sigh when they are summoned to the table for the meal. I don't have to worry about anything, as I stand off to the side of the head table unnoticed.

The King introduces Lady Helen, and I find myself entranced by her song as she approaches the guests from the entryway. She is beautiful and has such a lovely voice. I could almost…

It seems that not a moment has passed, but I am on the ground, covered in cobwebs when there is a commotion before me. I scramble to my feet. A woman lies on the ground beneath a fallen chandelier. She wears Lady Helen's dress, but the Lady's long dark hair has been replaced by gray, unkempt hair. I recognize that hair. It is the old woman from the square! She stretches her arm back, and I sense what is about to happen as she aims for the Prince. But there is Merlin, pulling Arthur away as the dagger pierces his chair and the woman slumps to the ground.

I silently chide myself. Yesterday, I had sympathized with this woman. Today, she fooled us all and tried to assassinate the prince. Perhaps the King is onto something with his condemnation of magic.


	2. The Knight and My Lady

Part of me feels bad for him. For any servant in Camelot, the goal is to work for one of the royal family. As there is no queen, I am extremely pleased to serve the Lady Morgana; Merlin, however, is not from Camelot. He sees not the pleasure in being the manservant to Prince Arthur. He's tired. I'm not sure that he's worked this much or worked this hard in his entire life.

I try not to seem obvious that I'm observing him. He has dark circles under his eyes, and he holds himself as though his entire body is heavy. Part of me wants to tell him to sit down. When I asked him earlier he kindly declined.

"I'll have these back to you within the hour," my father tells him, carefully examining the armor that Merlin has brought to the forge.

All of Arthur's armor must be in perfect condition for the sword-fighting tournament tomorrow. He is the reigning champion, after all. I offer Merlin some water as he recounts his day to me.

"I am not even sure that I had all the armor on correctly."

"Well it certainly wasn't fitted," I assure him, glancing at the bruises that creep up from underneath his tunic. Those could only be the result of ill-fitting armor moving around on his torso at our prince's hands. I know that there most likely isn't any armor at the castle that would fit Merlin well, considering he is so skinny and the knights so large. And I can't help but dislike Arthur even more than I had before, and I wasn't sure that was possible.

I mean, naturally he's attractive. I don't think that I've ever heard of an unattractive prince, but that doesn't take away the fact that he's a prat, and a prat to Merlin nonetheless. I try to convince myself that I only care so much because Merlin is a servant like myself, and many royals tend to mistreat servants. I'm unsuccessful, and if I can't convince myself then I'm sure Merlin knows that I may like him.

"I can't help you with the fit, but I can show you how to put the armor on," I offer. "For your own health and for the fact that you'll most likely have to dress Arthur tomorrow."

"He can't put on his own armor?" Merlin raises his arms as I help him slip the chest guard over his shoulders. "Who was Arthur's manservant before me? They should have never gotten rid of him." I hesitate before reaching around him to fasten the armor behind his back. I can smell him, see the beads of sweat pooling upon his brow. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes, trying unsuccessfully to still my rushing thoughts. I almost forget to remind him that he should call the Prince by his title. _Almost._

"_Prince_ Arthur, Merlin."

"Gwen," I feel his torso turn under my fingertips, "are you alright?"

I open my eyes slowly, only to find him staring questioningly at me. I feel a familiar flush through my neck and chest.

"Oh, yeah," I nod earnestly. "I'm fine. I was just remembering something that I have to do for Lady Morgana when I return."

He seems to accept this, and I breathe a sigh of relief as he turns away from me. I clear my throat and walk around to his right side.

"So, you've got the voiders on the arms," I try to act calm as I touch his arm, showing him where they are placed, "the hauberk goes over your chest." He turns his body to face me as he takes in my instructions.

"Chest, arms, chest," he nods to himself.

"I guess you know what to do with the helmet," I tease.

"Yeah, that was the only bit I'd figured out," I smile as he places the helmet over his head. "How come you're so much better at this than me?"

I don't think I could blush anymore if I wanted to, "I'm the blacksmith's daughter. I know pretty much everything there is to know about armor,"

He nods, and I can almost hear him reciting, 'Chest, arms, chest,' in his head.

"Which is actually kind of sad," I'm speaking my thoughts again, and I don't even realize it until he responds to me.

"No, it's brilliant," he insists.

I shake my head struggling to contain my smile at his words. He thinks it's brilliant! We walk back to Camelot together, him holding Arthur's armor as I walk empty handed.

"I can carry the helmet for you," I offer.

"Thank you, but I can't have Arthur see me relying on a Lady's maid for help," he grumbles.

"I suppose you'll have to wait in the tent to prepare Arthur for his fights?" I try to be subtle.

I want to know if there's any chance that he could sit with me at the tournament.

"I'll be in the tent when Arthur is," he responds. "But I wouldn't miss the chance to see him beat someone else for a change."

I laugh. Arthur does seem to enjoy beating those around him.

"Well I'll see you later," I wave a hand at him as we separate.

He goes off towards the grounds where Arthur is without a doubt preparing, while I return to the palace and to my lady.

* * *

><p>I have never really been one for violence. That being said, I don't think that anyone can deny the fun that comes with a tournament. I am on the edge of my seat while the Lady Morgana seems so cool and collected beside me. Normally, I would probably try to mask my excitement, I would try to match that of my lady, but this is a show. I'm here to enjoy. I'm here to support my Prince, no matter how much of a prat he may be.<p>

I can tell that the Lady Morgana has taken interest in one of the knights. Sir Valiant, in his yellow tunic and with his snake symbols seems to fight nearly as well as the Prince, nearly. I don't think that the Lady Morgana minds though. She just wants to see someone challenge Prince Arthur. She only reinforces my idea at the knights' presentation that evening.

"I saw you competing today," she says once Sir Valiant has kissed her hand.

"I saw you watching."

I want to retch. Instead I stand behind her as expected and find joy in watching Prince Arthur's face contort in anger. I'm not sure if he actually likes my lady, or if he just likes this cat and mouse game that they play constantly. Either way, he is clearly unhappy at the attention that she is receiving.

"They all seem rather impressed by Knight Valiant," the Lady Morgana nearly croons to Prince Arthur when he comes before her.

"They're not the only ones," he drawls, obviously annoyed.

"You're not jealous are you?" she smiles sweetly.

"I can't see there's anything to be jealous of," I can't help but smirk as Morgana's smile falters.

We watch him walk away. I adore my lady, but she has a way of becoming a little too self-assured when it comes to Prince Arthur. They're good at putting one another in their places.

"Could Arthur be any more annoying?" she whispers to me under her breath. "I hope that Knight Valiant wins the tournament."

I can understand her wanting to be escorted to the celebration by another knight for once, but I still want the win to remain in Camelot. However insignificant these tournaments may seem, we all know that it shows the strength of our future king.

"You don't really mean that," I respond, keeping my eyes forward, so as to not attract the attention of the king.

We're not doing anything wrong, but King Uther has a way of reminding servants of their place.

"Yes, I do," the Lady Morgana insists.

I turn my head back to the front and prepare for the line of knights sure to shower my lady in even more compliments.

* * *

><p>"Father, there is a sandwich for you on the table," I call to him once I'm nearly out of the door.<p>

"Gwen!" he calls me back. "Did you really think that you could leave me without a kiss?"

He presses a kiss to my forehead, and I smile, turning to leave once more.

"Don't have too much fun watching those large sweaty knights try to kill one another."

"I wouldn't think of it," I reassure him.

"I hope that's not because you will be too busy watching someone else?" he suggests.

"Someone like whom?" I fear that I know exactly whom he speaks of.

"About this tall," he motions, "Follows Prince Arthur about, wears a purple tunic and red scarf."

"Father!" I play with the front of my smock. "I don't…"

"Nothing escapes a father's notice," he smiles, accompanying me to the door. "I will not tell him if that's what worries you."

"No," I respond. "Father," I'm not sure what I wish to assure him, "I would never leave you…"

He doesn't let me finish, "Gwen, you'll have to leave me someday. This Merlin would be lucky to have you when the time comes."

I worry that I've led him to believe that there is more between Merlin and I than is truly there. I'm not even sure that Merlin has any feelings for me let alone friendship.

When I turn to reassure him that we are nothing but friends, he has already gone.

* * *

><p>There is a different more serious tone surrounding the tournament grounds today. Yesterday was all in good fun. Now there are half of the knights than we began with. Yesterday the weak fighters were eliminated. Today, the knights are here to prove themselves to the king.<p>

I gasp and clap with the crowd watching as knight after knight is taken down. I smile when it's Prince Arthur's turn, the Lady Morgana's hands have clenched into tight fists, wringing the fabrics of her dress.

"You're not nervous are you?"

"Of course not," she responds flippantly.

I know her better than that though. She cares about Arthur. The fight is harder for him than yesterday, but he wins nevertheless. And then it's Knight Valiant's turn. The fight is long and hard. It ends with a Knight called Ewan unconscious upon the ground. We watch him carried off of the tournament grounds on a stretcher, and I watch Gaius walk alongside of him checking the knight for any further signs of damage.

"The poor knight," Lady Morgana sighs after him. "Gwen, will you make sure that he is alright?"

"Of course, my lady," I don't much feel like watching the tournament anyways.

* * *

><p>"Merlin?" I knock on the door before entering Gaius's chamber.<p>

Merlin and Gaius stand at the head of Sir Ewan, lightly dabbing his head with a cloth.

"I'm sorry," I play with the hem of my frock as I approach the two of them. "Lady Morgana wanted to check to make sure that Sir Ewan was alright."

Merlin stands from his place on the stool, "Morgana is kind," Merlin notes, and I push away my annoyance.

"He should be fine as soon as I figure out what's the matter with him," Gaius ponders.

"What do you mean?" I'm puzzled, and I take the cloth that Merlin offers me resuming with dabbing Sir Ewan. "He was wounded by Valiant's blade was he not?"

"That's what I would have thought," Gaius nods, "but I can find no wound caused by a blade."

The two of them share a significant glance over the top of my head, and I pretend not to take notice, focusing my attention on the body before me. It is curious, that Sir Ewan should have a fever. A fever is usually the result of an infected wound or poison, and I've never heard of a wound becoming infected so quickly.

"But what else could it be?" I ask.

"I'm not entirely sure," Gaius states, reaching towards me for the cloth.

He says this, but I've seen his eyes dart to Ewan's neck and widen significantly. There is something there that he does not want me to know of. I sneak a glance, but he pulls my focus away.

"You can tell the Lady Morgana that Merlin and I are doing everything in our power to save Sir Ewan."

I curtsy slightly. I've been dismissed.

* * *

><p>It doesn't take long to discover why I was dismissed earlier. In fact, it is the scandal of the castle. Merlin and Prince Arthur accused Sir Valiant of using magic before the entire court and the king without proof. King Uther's disappointment was apparent in his son. It is times like these that I almost feel bad for Prince Arthur. I am on the constant look out for Merlin. I want to make sure that he is alright. It could not have been easy being admonished by the king, and I'm almost positive that Arthur would not have been forgiving after that.<p>

"You're preoccupied," the Lady Morgana comments, as she pulls her own gown from the wardrobe for dinner.

"My lady," I stammer, not sure what to do since she has gotten the dress herself, "I'm sorry. I just seem to have a lot on my mind tonight."

"I'm sure that it has nothing to do with Arthur's servant?"

I cannot find it in myself to lie to her, and I only bow my head to wait for her to continue.

"Go make sure that he is alright," she nods. "I've seen the way that you look at him, Gwen."

It's the first time that she has admitted to watching me, to picking up on how I am feeling.

"Are you positive?" I ask. "Because if you need me here, I can stay."

"Go, Gwen," and I don't wait for her to tell me again.

It doesn't take me long to find Merlin either. I stumble upon him, sitting at the front stairs of the castle.

"Hello, Merlin," he looks so young, his knees pulled into his chest.

"All right," he barely looks up at me.

I sit beside him, but he keeps his eyes facing forward, "Is it true what you said about Valiant using magic?"

He only nods, and I sigh as I think about all of the things that I'd like to ask him. How does he know that Valiant is using magic? How did Sir Ewan die? The question that I ask is simple.

"What are you going to do?"

"Why does everyone seem to think it's down to me to do something about it?"

Because you're the one that discovered Valiant, I want to say, "Because it is, isn't it?" I play nervously with my hands, "You have to show everyone that you were right, and they were wrong." Uther in particular, I think.

"And how do I do that?" he looks at me for the first time, and I want to reach out. I want to touch his face, his arm; I want to reassure him that I am there. I am here for him.

"I don't know."

He nods to himself, turning away from me again.

"That's it!" he exclaims suddenly, standing from the stairs and walking away from me.

"Where are you going?"

I follow him to a statue of a dog. He struggles to lift the statue, "You wouldn't happen to have a wheelbarrow, would you?"

Merlin is strange, I think to myself as I lead him to my home for the wheelbarrow.

* * *

><p>If I thought that my nerves were on edge yesterday then today is a completely different level of worry. Morgana sits beside me as I watch with baited breath.<p>

"Something isn't right, Gwen," Morgana insists.

"I know," I agree as they bow to one another.

Valiant and Arthur are well paired. The battle between the two carries on, but I can see Arthur growing tired. I search for Merlin in the crowd wondering if he has figured out any way to help the prince. I find him in the back corner of the arena. He looks triumphant though I know not why. Valiant has just punched Prince Arthur with his shield, knocking him down to the ground.

I look anxiously to Merlin willing him to do something, willing him to do anything. I'm not sure what I expect him to do, but I do know that if nothing happens soon then Camelot may no longer have a prince.

A gasp runs through the crowd. When I look back to Prince Arthur, there are two snakes dancing towards him from Valiant's shield. Merlin was right.

"Kill him," Valiant commands.

I want to assure him that he didn't need to order them. They already appeared on a mission to do just that. The crowd is up on their feet, myself included. Magic is being used before our eyes, Prince Arthur and Merlin were correct, and now our future kind stands unarmed and unprotected before us.

"Arthur!" Morgana shouts beside me, and I nearly cheer aloud when she tosses him the king's sword.

If Prince Arthur has a sword in his hand then there is no chance of defeat as far as I am concerned. He makes quick work of beheading the swords before he and Sir Valiant are evenly matched again. It seems only seconds later that the prince's sword is buried to the hilt in Valiant's side.

I look to the king. He let's out a long breath and grabs hold of his throne for support. Once more, he has proven to the people of Camelot the evil of magic.

* * *

><p>I'm exhausted by the time that the celebration comes around, but I have a duty. I watch Prince Arthur escort Lady Morgana into the banquet hall. If he can distract her long enough then I may be able to congratulate Merlin. My hopes are dashed rather quickly though when my lady returns to my side mere minutes after entering.<p>

"Can you believe Arthur?" she doesn't wait for me to respond before continuing, "He will not except that I saved him. We will see how he gets on next time without my help."

I glance over to where Arthur stands with Merlin. Merlin offers a smile in my direction, and I return the gesture.


	3. What For?

It has been a week since the tournament, and things have returned to normal. Prince Arthur and Lady Morgana despise each other as always. Merlin has no idea what he is doing, but Prince Arthur is keeping him around nonetheless. I am carrying out my duties as per usual, tidying the Lady Morgana's chambers, cleaning the floors, washing her clothes, giving my input as to which dress would most tease Arthur… and I am going to be late, I realize as I bustle around the modest home.

"Father," I capture his attention, "here is your sandwich," I set it down on the table so that he may see it.

He smiles, and inhales the scent," Mmm," he nods in appreciation, "what's in it?"

"It's smoked pigeon," I take a second from tidying our own home to look at him, "but I'd say there is more smoke than pigeon."

He chuckles, "You're such a good girl to me."

"And I've done you some watercress soup for tonight," for if I don't prepare dinner then we do not eat, I've learned.

"Don't tell me…" I gather the flowers that I've picked for Lady Morgana and look back to him, "with more water in it than cress?"

I laugh before throwing my arms around his neck, "I'll see you later!"

"Bye."

I spot Gaius and Merlin as I shut the door behind me and speed up my pace to catch them.

"What are you doing?" I smile, catching Merlin's attention as he turns around.

He stammers, he's cute when he stammers, "Just moving something."

"It looks heavy," I comment, trying to discern a shape from beneath the brown covering that he and Gaius have placed over the object.

"It's nothing really," Merlin attempts to block my view, coming around to the back of the cart.

I hope that it's to be closer to me. I know that it's probably just to distract me from something else that he and Gaius are up to.

"Someone got you flowers?" he changes subject, and I am flustered for a moment.

The last thing that I want is for Merlin to think that someone is trying for my affections, "Oh, no," I shake my head. I wonder if anyone would ever give me flowers. "Would you like one?" I offer him a blossom. "A purple one," I chide myself. The entire bouquet is purple. "Purple suits you," our fingers touch as he takes the flower from my hand.

He turns without a word of thanks, and I think for a moment that I may have offended him, "Not that I'm saying that red doesn't suit you." I refer to the red tunic that he is always wearing.

"Thanks," he casts his eyes down. "Well, uh," he looks for a place to store the flower and settles on his collar.

I smile. It matches the flower that I placed in my hair early this morning.

"See ya," He nods to me before turning back to the cart and Gaius.

"Bye," I watch him walk towards Gaius's chamber.

He turns back to smile at me, and I wave. Maybe he does like me back.

I feel like a different person when I walk into Lady Morgana's chambers. It's not that I am not a happy person, I usually am. But today, I'm on another level of happiness. Merlin is wearing my flower, and he turned back to look at me today. I wish that I had something other than my red smock. I wish that I could dress myself up like Lady Morgana. He loved her purple dress from the other night. But then I chide myself. I do not _really _need it, do I? Merlin seems to like me regardless.

"You look happy," Lady Morgana comments as I approach her.

"I picked these for you," I offer her the bouquet of wild flowers.

"That's so sweet," she smiles, eagerly smelling them.

"Something to cheer you up," I offer. "I know you're not sleeping well."

Lady Morgana has been plagued with nightmares for as long as I have known her. I worry that such a kind soul should be plagued by such darkness, and I hope that the happiness of the day may diminish the fear of the night.

"You cheer me up," I scoff slightly.

"Would you like me to put them in water for you?"

I take the flowers and go to find a vase in her wardrobe.

"I'll just fill this with water and be right back," I nod to my lady.

I am still dancing in the clouds when I reach the kitchen, but my mood quickly changes when I see two lady maids sobbing in the corner of the kitchen. The cook attempts to console them as best as she can, but truth be told, she is not the most reassuring of women.

"What's the matter?" I ask concerned dropping to my knees before them.

"One of the lords of the palace," the smaller girl manages. "Dead."

"His skin," the other supplies. "He was so pale."

"There is a disease," the cook answers. "Gaius does not know what it is or what it is caused by, only that it kills in twenty four hours."

"Has anyone been affected outside of the palace?"

"I don't know," the cook responds honestly.

I know that there is most likely no need, but I won't be satisfied until I go home and see that my father is well. He is all that I have.

* * *

><p>Over the next week there are at least fifty new cases of this disease through Camelot, both in the Lower town and throughout the castle. Panic spreads nearly as fast as the disease. There are rumors that the king plans to close off the lower town from the castle, though I do not see how this makes sense. I am in the castle nearly as much as I am in the town, and I know that both noble and peasants have been affected.<p>

"It's time to get up, Father," I tie my red cloak around my shoulders, prepared to leave for my duties for the day.

"Father?" I call when I get no response.

I walk quietly into the room although the dread is already pulling at my heart. He lies on his slide and when I turn him over, I see that his skin is ashen, the veins prominent along one side of his face.

"Gwen?" he seems disoriented; and while, I'm overjoyed that he is still alive the cold reality comes crashing down upon me.

My father is dying.

The tears come suddenly and relentlessly as I run to the only person who I know that may be able to save him, Gaius. I'm not ready to be an orphan. Somewhere behind me I can hear Merlin calling my name, but I have no time for him right now. My father is my priority.

I burst through Gaius's doors, not bothering to knock.

"Gaius," I'm out of breath between the crying and the running.

"Gwen," I hear the concern in his voice. "You have the sickness?"

I struggle to keep my eyes on him and away from the body that lies on his table.

"No. My father," I see his demeanor drop, but I cannot expect the worst.

I will not expect the worst.

"Please, Gaius," I know that my face must be a mess, "he's all I have."

I want to be strong, but I've never felt weaker. Not when my mother passed, not with Elyan. My father is everything to me. We've been all that the other has had for years now.

"Gwen," the old man shakes his head, "I have no cure."

I shake my head at his response. I don't know what I expect but maybe if I need it badly enough a solution will come. Maybe there is something that he has not tried.

"I'm begging you."

"I wish there was something, anything," he stays calm. I think that he stays calm to soothe my nerves, but I can't be consoled, "But so far, the remedy is beyond what I can achieve."

I cannot hold back the sob that wracks through my body when Gaius takes my hands in his. He looks into my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Gwen."

I do not want to be here anymore. I do not want to be around someone who is unwilling to help me. I know that it is impractical to blame Gaius. I know that it is dumb and unreasonable of me, but he was my last hope, and I'm certain that I will return home to watch my father die a slow and painful death. It registers in the back of my mind that Merlin has entered the chamber. Again, all that I can think of is returning to my father. I hope that he will inform Lady Morgana where I am because I am not going to her today.

I had not realized how long death would take to come, I think as I sit by my father's side. I cannot imagine those who died in the streets, alone, in and out of delirium. I spent the day cooling his brow and calming him when he called out for me. I would have never wanted him to experience this in the cold streets of the town.

Darkness falls upon Camelot, and I want to stay awake. I want to stay awake just in case death comes upon him, and he has a moment of clarity. Gaius said that the disease manifested in twenty-four hours, and I know that my father's case began sometime in the night or early morning. It is only a matter of time. I take my seat beside his bed, take his hand, and wait.

I must have fallen asleep at one point, I realize, rising from my position next to my father. I feel fingers in my hair, but it could not be…I open my eyes to find my father staring back at me. His veins still apparent, but color is washing back into his face.

"Father! What's happened?" he sits up, and the tears come to my eyes once more, "I can't believe it!" I exclaim throwing my arms around his neck.

Gaius said that there was no cure. I had resigned myself to my father's death, but he is here with me. He is alive and where he belongs.

* * *

><p>I go to the palace early the next morning after making sure that I have prepared enough stew to last my father the entire day. I wish that I could stay with him and ensure that he remains well, but I neglected my duties yesterday.<p>

"How's your father?" Merlin startles me as I collect Lady Morgana's laundry for the day. "Is he feeling better?"

"Yeah, it's incredible," I can't help but smile. "It's a miracle."

"His skin's clear, back to normal?" he smiles almost as much as I do.

"Yes," I nod.

"Great," Merlin goes to leave the room.

"You don't seem surprised."

"No, no, I am," he peeks his head back into the doorway. "It's a miracle," he steps through the doorway.

It still doesn't make sense to me. Merlin knew before I had told him, I'm sure of it, "But how did you know he was well?"

I step towards him, and he closes the door behind him. He seems trapped. He looks at the closed doorway and then back to me.

"Because you're smiling," he smirks, but I can't help but feel that Merlin is hiding something from me.

He's always hiding something from me.

"It's really weird," I shake my head going over the events of the conversation, "because I haven't told anyone, but _you_ know." His smile falters, "How could you know?"

"Yeah, all right," he will not look me in the eyes. "You've finally found out…" _Found out what? _"I'll tell you…" _Tell me what? _"I'm psychic."

"No, you're not," I laugh; the tense mood in the room has been broken.

Merlin can always make me smile.

"It's true!" He insists.

"All right," I look to him expectantly, "what am I thinking?"

He peers at me through narrowed eyes, "That…I'm not psychic?"

"You're strange," I smile again.

His eyebrows draw together, and I realize what I've just said.

"I don't mean that in a nasty way," there I go with my mouth again. There's a hint of a smile creeping up on his face, "You're just funny." He doesn't say anything, so I continue, "I like that."

I shouldn't have continued…We look away from each other though I see a smile creeping onto his face, my hands suddenly become extremely interesting. Merlin finally breaks the silence between us.

"I'm pleased for you," I look up to see him looking at me.

"Thank you," I respond genuinely.

"What for?" he seems confused.

"I don't know," I shrug. "Just for asking."

"I didn't like to see you upset," he does not look away and neither do I. "I have to get on," he says after a few moments.

Is it just me? Or does it seem that he does not really want to leave? I take a deep breath and nod. He raises a hand to wave. I wave goodbye and smile. He smiles one last time before leaving the room. I watch him leave and take one more deep breath. I think that I really do like him, and he may like me too.

* * *

><p>Lady Morgana is out, and I am taking the time to tidy up her chambers while she is out. I cannot seem to help the smile on my face, or the light hum that tickles my lips as I recount my conversation with Merlin from earlier.<p>

_"I didn't like to see you upset."_

That's what he had said. I wouldn't want to see him upset either. But what is the difference between that and friendship? We have been friends this whole time. What if he doesn't feel the same way about me that I do him? How would I know either way? But there was something that seemed different about today. There was something different about the way that he looked at me, the way that his voice softened as he spoke to me. I do not want to overthink anything, but if I did not overthink anything then it wouldn't be me would it?

I'm lost in thought when the door swings open. Prince Arthur enters, and I am just about to inform him that my lady is not here when I spot the two men enter behind him. A murderous expression rests on his face.

"Seize her," he commands them.

"No, it's the only response that I can come up with as I look between the three men before me.

"Guinevere," it's the first time that I've heard Prince Arthur say my name, but I can hardly here it over the sound of metal hitting stone as the vase that I was holding drops to the ground. The men grab my arms and begin to lead me from the room as he continues, " I am arresting you for crimes in contravention to the laws of Camelot," I am confused, "that you did practice enchantments."

"Gwen?" I hear my lady's voice and turn to see Lady Morgana approaching us.

I have no time to respond to her appearance. I need to know what I did wrong. What enchantment is he speaking of?

"What have I done? I haven't done anything!" I yell as the guards lead me from the room. "Help me! Please!" is all that I am able to call to my lady as the guards tear me from the room.

"What have I done?" I plead with them as we wait for the prince in the hallway.

The men refuse to look at me, keeping their eyes forward and their grips strong against my fighting body.

No one will look at me, but I continue to beg as I'm led through the hallways of Camelot. This has become my second home, this is where I had longed to be, and it has now become my prison.

"You have to listen to me, please," I beg the prince.

He does nothing to acknowledge my presence. He only faces forward walking five paces ahead of us as he leads me to where I know his father is most likely awaiting my presence. I can only hope that the king will be more receptive than his son, but that does not mean that I can stop trying.

"I'm innocent, I swear," I see his head turn to look out of the windows and down to the square, so I turn my attention to the guards. "Let me go!" I fail again.

I hear footsteps behind us and turn to see Merlin breaking into a run to catch up to us, "Merlin! Merlin! Please help me," but Gaius has come from another corrider to stop him.

When I turn to face forward once more, I find Prince Arthur turned towards us, not to me, but to Merlin. I have for but a moment, hope that if I can get Merlin to say something than the Prince may just change his mind. I am suddenly angry that Merlin could get the prince's attention but not me.

"Why won't you listen to me?" when I get no response, I call out to my friend once more. "Merlin, please."

I continue to beg though I know that it falls upon deaf ears. By the time we reach the king, my yells and shouts have left my body. I have no more energy to fight these men. My voice has been transformed into a desperate plea.

"Please listen to me. I have done nothing," I look between the two men leading me to the king. "Please. I swear I have done nothing."

"Well done," the king nods to the prince.

I am pushed to the floor, "Why will no one believe me?" I know that I should not speak in front of the king without being spoken to, but at this point what have I got to lose. "He got better," I insist, trying to tell my story before I am silenced. "He just recovered. I didn't do anything."

I look around frantically for a friendly face. Instead I find the faces of noble men and women, of knights, of royalty, of people who I have loyally served and who will no longer look into my face. The prince has arrested me, and I am nothing but a criminal in their eyes.

"I believe you," Lady Morgana steps into the room. "Perhaps this is a disease that is not always fatal," she turns her attention away from me and to King Uther. "Have you thought of that?" a hush falls over the room. No one challenges the king. "Perhaps he recovered naturally."

"Then what of this poultice that was found?" the king's voice is calm.

"What poultice? I don't know anything about a poultice," I insist from my place at his feet.

"It was found in your house," the king addresses me for the first time, rising from his throne. "Undo this enchantment. Put an end to this contagion."

"I can't," I answer truthfully.

"Then I can show you no mercy," I dread his next words before he has uttered them.

"I am not a witch," I try to stop my voice from breaking under the fear and hopelessness. "I don't know how to stop the illness."

"If you will not undo this sorcery then you force my hand, and I must find you guilty."

"But I've told you," my words do not stop him and he continues to speak.

"It is therefore my duty to pronounce judgment," he circles around me like a vulture to a carcass, "And under the circumstance I have no choice but to sentence you to death."

I shake my head, unwilling to believe him, "No."

"I can only hope that when you die, this evil plague dies with you," he spits his words looking at me with disgust as the two guards from before pull me to my feet.

This is my judgment. I have been condemned.

He orders them to take me away. I look to Morgana, tears well in her eyes as she watches them drag me from the room. Prince Arthur puts a hand to his mouth, seemingly as shocked by my judgment as I am. I want to yell. I want to struggle against my captors but something tells me that there is no hope.

They lead me down further into the castle than I have ever been. They lead me down to where I know the dungeons are. They are cold. They are cold and hard. They smell of sweat, and tears, of blood, and of death. I am led to my cell, thrown inside, and chained to the cold floor. There is a bit of hay, just enough to cover most of the ground. I wonder why. It's not as though it will make it any more comfortable.

I wonder who will tell my father that I am here when the Lady Morgana comes rushing in. She looks beautiful. Her hair is swept to the side, and she wears the blue dress that I had chosen for her this morning. This morning seems so long ago. I was a different person this morning. I was happy.

"Gwen, we have to do something," she grips the bars of my cell in her hands. "I'll make him see. I will find a way."

"Thank you, my lady," I nod in appreciation. "But there is nothing that you can do. The king does not tolerate magic," as I struggle to convince her, the cold reality of it hits me. "I am going to die."

"No!" Morgana yells. "I will make him see."

"Please, Morgana," I want to go to her, but I cannot. I am chained. "Thank you," I offer a smile. "Thank you for trying. I am sorry that I failed you."

"You didn't do anything!" she claims.

"I know," I nod, sitting on the floor as I realize what this means. "I have enjoyed every minute with you."

The moment that she realizes that I am resigned to my death, she lets out a sob and leaves me. I stare at the wall across from me. I wish that I could have seen my father. I wish that I could have seen Elyan one last time.

I hear footsteps race down the stairs and look up to see Merlin bathed in candlelight. It is the only source of light that I have.

"Gwen," his voice is soft, and I get up to stand closer to him. The chains pull me back once more. I offer a smile as a way to apologize. I cannot get any closer to him. I wonder if I look as dejected as I feel.

"Thank you."

"What for?"

I smile thinking of our earlier conversation.

"For coming to see me."

Part of me wonders if he thinks that I am guilty, too.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes.

"It's not your fault," I look down at my chains.

"Well…"

I don't let him continue. I'm sure that whatever he has to say will only make me cry, "It's all right. Don't worry about me," I insist. "There's no point in crying about it."

A tear rolls down my cheek, and I look up at him. He's looking at me so intently, but he says nothing, so I ramble on as I always do.

"I mean, I'm not saying that you were going to cry about me. Obviously, I don't think that."

"Oh, Gwen," I wonder if he says it to stop my painful monologue or if he really cares as he says that he does.

I wish that he had said it sooner. Maybe there could have been something between us had that been the case.

"I can't have this happen," his voice is barely above a whisper.

"Please," I start out slowly, trying to give myself time to think before I say what I want to, "one thing," but I don't want him to promise because I am here. "You don't have to," I insist, "but," I can't look at him when I say this.

"What," he prompts, and I look up at him for a second before continuing.

"Remember me," I look up at him through nervous eyes.

I can feel my eyes filling with tears as I look into his blue ones, "You're not going to die. I'm not going to let this happen," and he's gone.

* * *

><p>Isolation is a funny thing, I've decided. No one speaks to me in my prison. The guards walk by, ensuring that I am in here that no one has tried to take me out. I get one meal at the end of the day, delivered by the young girls who work in the kitchen. These are girls that I once thought were my friends. They are girls who are now scared that I'm killing the people of Camelot. They leave my food by the door and say nothing to me.<p>

I think about many things behind the walls of my prison. I think about my family. My father was saved. I didn't have to lose him, but now he's alive only to lose me. I wonder how he will be without me. I wonder if Elyan would return. I don't want to imagine my father spending the rest of his life alone. He doesn't deserve that.

He comes to visit me after work. He cries, and I cry. He gets as close as he can, pushing his face to the bars, resting his hand on the floor as near to mine as he can get. There's nothing that I can say to help him. He's losing his only family left.

Morgana visits me as well though it's hard for her. She tries not to cry in front of me, but the tears are always there. She has a new lady's maid. Her name is Katie. She doesn't pick flowers for her, but she does all of her duties in a timely fashion. I'm sad that I couldn't have found someone for her. There's a girl down in the lower town who I would have recommended in a heart beat.

"Gwen?" Merlin's visits are the hardest.

I hear his feet trample down the stairs before he calls my name. I pretend to be asleep though I'm sure he knows that I'm not. I say that because he tends to say more after that. Today he says.

"I'm going to get you out."

I know that he believes it, and it makes me happy. It makes me happy that he can still have hope, but I know that I would crumble before him. I have no hope left. So I pretend to sleep until I hear his steps retreat. I think that maybe Merlin is the hardest to deal with because he has become my best friend. I didn't have one of those before. My father knows that I love him more than anything, Morgana knows that I would do anything for her, and Merlin knows…what does he know? It's the uncertainty that makes it hard. He doesn't know how nervous I become around him. He doesn't know how he makes my heartbeat quicken. And even worse, I don't know what he feels either.

They've moved my execution forward, I'm informed by one of the guards. King Uther cannot let anyone else die at my hands. I wonder what will happen when I die. Will he feel sorry that he executed me? Or will I have been a necessary step to take to find the true sorcerer. I don't know. I wonder how many others have been wrongfully executed.

I sleep to pass the time.

* * *

><p>A guard enters my cell, waking me. He doesn't say anything but he unlocks my shackles before leaving. I rub my wrists. They're free.<p>

"What's happening?" I call but receive no answer.

And then I hear them, footsteps descending. I see my father's face first followed by Morgana and Merlin. Another guard opens the cell, allowing them to rush in. This can only mean that I'm free.

"Dad!" I cry throwing my arms around him and burying my face in his shoulder.

"Oh, my baby," he sobs into my hair.

I want to hug Merlin and Morgana as well, but he will not let me go from his side.

"Thank you," I reach out to take Morgana's hands.

"Don't thank me," she insists, "it was more Merlin."

"Really?" I look to him, unsure of whether or not I should reach out to him. I decide against it, seeing him look at Morgana as she speaks.

"He's the real hero here," she insists, smiling at him.

"I don't know what to say," I shake my head and smile at him.

"I didn't do anything," he insists.

I'm almost certain that isn't true.

"I'm thankful to you all," my father thanks them, taking my hand. "Come on, Gwen."

I want to say more to them, but he's ready to go home. As we walk through the castle I realize I've never been happier to be heading home either.


	4. It's More than Fine

After everything that had gone on with my arrest, I was slightly worried that my father would not let me come back to the castle at all. He doubted the king. I could see it in the way that he looked towards Camelot. I could hear it in the way that he said certain things, but he couldn't sway me. Camelot, the castle, they are my second home.

I especially could not leave now, as Morgana must look her best for the celebration tomorrow. The Lord Bayard of Mercia is here to sign a treaty with the king. If all goes well then we may see an end to the needless bloodshed between our kingdoms.

"Morgana?" I call into my lady's chambers.

It's strange to call her simply by name; however, she has insisted and I am trying to oblige. She's becoming one of my closest allies as the days continue of my serving her. She is sweet and caring. She pays attention to differences in my attitude and mood. I've never met anyone who pays me that kind of attention who wasn't my family.

I'm worried though. Dark circles have seated themselves permanently beneath her eyes. Her remedy is no longer working. The nightmares that plague her sleep are getting worse by day, and there seems to be nothing that can help her.

"Gwen," she smiles tiredly.

"Ready to prepare for the banquet?" I ask.

"Of course," I nod, expecting her to give me the options that she has chosen.

Instead, she nods to her wardrobes, "You can choose."

Morgana is not weak. She is one of the strongest women that I know. But I fear for her now more than ever. Just a couple of weeks ago, Morgana was parading around in dress after dress, wondering which would please Arthur most. Today, she is happy to sit in silence and let me pick out a dress for her.

I dress her in silence, and I hope that tomorrow is better.

* * *

><p>It is not difficult to find Merlin in the banquet hall. Arthur has put him in a ridiculous outfit. I chuckle quietly, so as to not disrupt the King and Lord Bayard.<p>

"Nice hat," I give him a sideways glance.

"Thanks," he drawls sarcastically.

I smile, keeping my face forward. Arthur turns around to look at Merlin, raises his eyebrows in appreciation of the outfit. I can see the muscles in his mouth struggling to not let out the grin that he's fighting with. Arthur may not be my favorite person in the world, but I am intrigued by the relationship that he has formed with Merlin.

When I glance to Merlin, I notice that his eyes have left Arthur. Instead he is focused on a beautiful woman in a red and blue dress. Her dress is far prettier than my customary yellow frock. She doesn't look as rough as a handmaiden. It is clear to everyone in the room that she is beautiful with her smooth, young skin and red lips.

I can't help myself from saying, "She's pretty, isn't she?" he is taking that ridiculous, feathered hat from his head. I hope that he cannot hear the disappointment in my voice. "For a handmaiden, I mean."

"She's pretty for a Princess, let alone a handmaiden," tonight he has eyes only for one servant girl and it isn't me.

I force a smile, happy that he's not looking at me. He cannot see the tears spring to my eyes. I walk away before he can notice. I find a new place to stand beside Gaius. I see him look to me inquisitively. I refuse to acknowledge his questioning eyes.

I keep my eyes facing forward even as I see the girl walk around the room. She's barely waited a moment before making her way to Merlin. Gaius does not hide that he is watching them, whereas I watch with only my eyes. I try to push down the cry rising through my throat. They're out of sight. I can only imagine them doing the worst though I know that Merlin is not the type of man who would do anything like that, but I can't help my fears from turning into the worst of images running through my mind.

I really thought that he could like me. I thought that there might be potential for something more between us. After everything that happened last week, after everything that Morgana told me about how worried Merlin was…I'm so annoyed with myself. I force myself to look forward, to try to pay attention to the speech that Bayard is giving.

"To your health Uther," Lord Bayard raises his chalice in conclusion, "Arthur," Prince Arthur moves to take his drink, but Bayard continues, "the Lady Morgana, the people of Camelot."

All around the room knights from both Mercia and Camelot nod in agreement, "And to fallen comrades on both sides," King Uther's deep voice sounds throughout the room.

"Stop! It's poisoned! Don't drink it!" Merlin's voice cries from the hallway as everyone places their chalices to their lips.

He dashes in, grabbing Arthur's chalice from his hand. Merlin always finds himself in danger because he is always doing stupid things, I think to myself.

"What?" the king demands as Arthur hisses annoyed.

"Merlin, what are you doing?"

Merlin has the attention of the entire banquet hall now, "Bayard laced Arthur's chalice with poison," he accuses looking Lord Bayard in the eye.

"This is an outrage!" Lord Bayard exclaims, pulling his sword from his sheath.

Where does Merlin come up with these things? Knights on both sides unsheathe their swords. I look to my lady; she can't be caught in this fight. She would want to be a part of it.

"Order your men to put down their swords, you're outnumbered," the King commands Bayard as more knights rush into the room.

It's true. Bayard does not stand a chance against the knights of Camelot.

"I will not allow this insult to go unchallenged," Bayard refuses to put down his sword though he has a number of them at his neck, ready to run him through.

The attention is back on Merlin.

"On what grounds do you base this accusation?" the king demands of him.

"I'll handle this," I've never been so happy to hear those words from Arthur's mouth. "Merlin, you idiot," he walks around the table, grasping Merlin by his collar and walking him away from the middle of the room, "have you been at the sloe gin again?"

"Unless you want to be strung up," both Merlin and Arthur stop in their tracks, "you'll tell me why you think it's poisoned. Now."

"He was seen lacing it," Merlin's voice is so low that I have to strain to hear him.

"By whom?"

"I can't say."

"I won't listen to this anymore," Bayard's voice joins again. I want to tell him to just shut up.

"Pass me the chalice," the king orders Arthur who complies.

"If you're telling the truth…"

"I am," Bayard insists.

"Then you have nothing to fear, do you?" the king slowly approaches the other man.

Bayard sheaths his sword and reaches out for the chalice.

"No," the king responds. I'm confused. How will he figure out whether or not it is poisoned then? "If it does prove to be poisoned, I want the pleasure of killing you myself."

Bayard suddenly seems scared, but my heart drops when Uther turns around. He holds the chalice to Merlin.

"He will drink it," his statement is greeted with silence for a moment.

"But if it is poisoned," Arthur speaks after what feels like an eternity, "he'll die."

"Then we'll know he was telling the truth," the king responds as if this is the only solution.

"And what if he lives?" Bayard questions.

"Then you will have my apologies," I dread what he will say next, "and you can do with him as you will."

"Uther, please, he's just a boy," Gaius speaks, "he doesn't know what he's saying." I have never heard such desperation in the man's voice.

"Then you should have schooled him better," Uther's voice is cold. It makes me dislike him all the more.

"Merlin, apologize," Arthur commands. "This is a mistake," he insists to the court. "I'll drink it."

"No," Merlin is resigned, "It's alright," he looks to Bayard, raises the chalice with a shaking hand.

Arthur seems as scared as I feel. Merlin turns to Gaius and gives him a slight not before pressing the cup to his lips. I can't help my involuntary step forward as he downs the liquid. I'm at line with the table that seats the royals waiting for a reaction, any reaction.

Merlin looks back at Bayard, "It's fine."

"He's yours," Uther waves his hand.

I am supposed to support this man and between what happened with me, and what is about to happen to Merlin, I can't help but feel that he is letting every one of his subjects down.

The banquet resumes. People begin to reclaim their seats as the feast continues, the tension dissipating quickly from the air when suddenly Merlin coughs. He looks confused as he claws at his neck. All eyes are on him once more as he falls to the floor. I've never seen Arthur move so quickly.

"It's poisoned," the king mutters.

"Guards, seize him!" Another voice calls.

I rush over to Merlin's body where Arthur leans over him. I want to tell him to move out of the way. He doesn't know what to do. Gaius and I can look after Merlin, but that's not how you speak to the future king of Camelot.

"Merlin," Gaius kneels on the floor beside the body. "Can you hear me?"

There is no response.

"We need to get him back to my chambers," Gaius commands Arthur and me. "Bring the goblet, we need it to identify the poison."

Arthur hoists Merlin over his shoulders as I rush to pick up the goblet that Merlin dropped only moments before. It is still warm from his touch.

I retrieve the rags and water that Gaius has asked for. I return only to hear him telling Arthur that Merlin's fever is too high. My eyes are drawn to Merlin lying before me. I miss him already. I miss his smile. He looks so weak. He's pale and his brow is doused in sweat. He's in so much pain.

"You can cure him, can't you, Gaius?" I run to give him the rag.

"I won't know until I can identify the poison," he places the damp rag atop Merlin's head. "Pass me the goblet."

Watching Gaius at work would usually be a privilege, but today I have no time to watch his master hands at work. Today, I can only think about my best friend lying there, wheezing on the table. I leave to get the goblet from where I had placed it a moment before on the table. Arthur has not left Merlin's side. I haven't seen him act like this before.

I sit across from him, absently handing the goblet to Gaius as I sit beside Merlin, pressing the rag into his head.

"Ah, there's something stuck on the inside," Gaius reveals after a brief inspection.

Arthur is on his feet, "What is it?"

"It looks like a flower petal of some kind," they look at a clear petal from the cup.

I don't care about a petal. I ant Merlin well again, "His brow's on fire."

"Keep him cool, it'll help control his fever."

I oblige, dipping the rag back into the cold water and pressing it against Merlin's face. His cheeks are flushed and his breathing shallow. I fear that if we do not find a solution soon then we may lose him.

I look back to where Gaius and Arthur stand together over an old looking book. Gaius seems to have found the type of flower that has poisoned Merlin.

"It says here that someone poisoned by the Mortaeus can only be saved by a potion made from the leaf of the very same flower," Merlin moans, and I focus my attention to him once more.

I had never realized how pale he was before now. Is he really this pale, or has the sickness taken all the blood from his skin? His lips are dry. I wonder if I can get him t drink any water, but I doubt it in this state.

"Few who have crossed the mountains of Isgard in search of the Mortaeus flower have made it back alive," I look back at his words.

If Arthur cannot retrieve the flower and make it back to Camelot then I will lose my best friend and my prince all in the same day. It's a challenge that I want him to take, but I cannot be angry if he does not. Merlin is a servant and Arthur is a prince no matter how much it seems that Arthur cares about him. Arthur is thinking, his thumb up to his lips as he ponders the predicament. I turn my attention back to Merlin hoping that he makes the right decision.

Merlin moans again, his head thrashing under my hands.

"Sounds like fun," Arthur finally states.

My heart leaps, "Arthur," Gaius pulls his attention from Merlin and I, "It's too dangerous."

"If I don't get the antidote what happens to Merlin?"

I hold my breath though I already know the answer, "The Mortaeus induces a slow and painful death. He may hold out for four, maybe five days but not for much longer," Gaius pauses and I sit up so that I can fully turn to them. "Eventually he will die."

And with that Arthur has gone, leaving Gaius and me on our own.

"Gwen," Gaius speaks through the silence, "shouldn't you check on Morgana?"

I don't want to leave Merlin's side, but I suddenly remember my duty.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," I assure him before rushing from the room.

* * *

><p>"My lady, I am so sorry, I haven't been here to attend to you," I find Morgana sitting at the table in her chambers.<p>

She's taking down her hair by candlelight.

"Don't worry. I'm all right," she assures me. "How's Merlin?"

"If Arthur comes back with the antidote in time, he'll be fine," I don't tell her what will happen if Arthur doesn't come back with the antidote because that will make it all the more real. I couldn't bear to lose Merlin.

"Then he'll be fine," she insists, and I want to believe her so much. "You should be with him. I'll manage."

I offer the tiniest of smiles. It's all that I can manage right now.

"I know what he means to you," she nods. "Go."

"Thank you," I curtsy and rush back through the servants' quarters that I have entered through.

Deep down I hope for a miracle. I want something to be different when I find Merlin and Gaius. There is none. Merlin still lies on the bed with Gaius wiping his brow when I return. I relieve him, and we carry on in the same fashion all night and into the morning.

"He's getting hotter," I realize at one point after dawn.

I'm exhausted, and I've let the rag slip from my hand. On touching Merlin's head I realize that he's burning up, hotter than he was before.

Gaius approaches us as Merlin begins to chant in a strange tongue. He sits down next to me.

"What language is that?" I ask curiously.

"None," Gaius responds. "the fever has taken hold, none of those are his own words."

They sound so real though. These aren't the crazy rantings of the loon in the lower town nor are they the gibberish of a young child. I shake off the sense that Gaius is lying and continue to pat Merlin's brow.

"His pulse is weaker," Gaius comments disappointedly, taking a breath and lowering Merlin's hand back to the bed.

He notices something more and pulls Merlin's arm back up, "What is it?" I ask.

"This can't be right," Gaius shakes his head. "The rash is not supposed to appear until the final stage.

Merlin is dying, and he's dying sooner than we had anticipated, I realize.

"What does that mean?" I ask regardless hoping that Gaius can give me a different answer.

He stands from his seat, and I follow him to the book that he looked at with Arthur the other day, "It says here that once the rash appears death will follow within two days."

"You said he had four days," I try not to take an accusatory tone.

"Something's increased the flower's potency," Gaius turns back to his book. "It warns that the effect of the Mortaeus will be more rapid if an enchantment is used during the flower's preparation."

I come to the dark realization, "An enchantment? But Bayard's no sorcerer."

Unless he has hired a sorcerer to do his bidding, the man that we've been blaming for the poison is the wrong person.

"No, he isn't," Gaius agrees.

"Then, who did this?"

I see the realization in Gaius's eyes, "It can't have been, she wouldn't dare come here." I need him to give me an answer or at least tell me what he's thinking, "Unless…"

"Unless what?" I don't give him time to finish his thought.

"What happened to that girl?"

"Which girl?"

"Just before Merlin burst in to the hall," he spoke to Kara, I remember, "one of Bayard's serving girls took him outside."

I remember how upset I was with Merlin for going with her. Now I would love to see him go with her so long as it meant that he was awake and well again.

"She had dark hair, very beautiful," I supply, remembering the rouge of her lips and her fair skin.

"Find her," Gaius commands me, not letting me fall into a spiral of jealousy. "Quickly."

I rush from the chamber. I know where to look. I shiver as I find my way back to the dungeon remembering why I knew the pathway there. The last time I was in these areas of the castle, it was me who was arrested. I had a cell to myself. King Uther has packed Bayard's servants in like cattle. There are at least nine, hungry faces peering out of the darkness at me. None of them are the beautiful woman who I saw with Merlin.

I look to one of their guards, "Where are the others?"

"What others?" he answers gruffly.

The man is handsome. He has a dusting of hair around a strong chin and piercing blue eyes. He wears his light brown hair long around his neck. I know this knight. It is Sir Leon. He doesn't want to be talking to a serving girl but not because I am a serving girl. It is because he has a duty to Camelot.

"Bayard's other servants, where are they?"

"There are no others," he answers shortly.

"There was a girl. She had dark brown hair. She was very beautiful."

"Haven't seen her since the banquet," one of the women supply from within the cell.

She is hushed, but I hope that my eyes can convey my thanks to her. The girl is gone.

Gaius seems to already know when I return, "Let me guess, she wasn't there?"

"No one has seen her since the banquet. Who is she?"

"Not who she claims to be," he eludes my question.

"But you know, don't you?"

He gives a slight nod, "Kara. Though that's not her name, not her real name anyway."

"Then who is she?"

"A powerful sorceress," he sighs.

"Well, we should tell Uther, maybe he could send riders out after her," I grasp the back of the chair thinking of all the solutions.

"No," Gaius is disappointed. "She'll be long gone. It's impossible to know where though."

We sit in silence for a moment, both running through possibilities in our minds when Gaius suddenly looks towards me, "Oh no."

"What?"

"She knows the only place an antidote can be found is the forest of Baloch," he stands from his seat, facing me head on. I wonder where he is going with this realization when he finishes, "Arthur could be walking into a trap."

Did we just condemn our future king to death?

As if Merlin could hear us. He mutters Arthur's name quietly. The chanting begins again.

* * *

><p>The next two days are torture, but we finally hear news that Arthur has returned. Merlin's fever continues to rise, his breathing becoming shallower.<p>

I enter Morgana's chamber.

"How's Merlin?" she asks.

"He's not good," I answer. "Gaius is treating him as best as he can, but a rash has appeared and he's speaking in tongues. He doesn't have much time left," I try to hold in the crack in my voice, but I fear Morgana can hear my desperation nonetheless. "He needs the antidote from Arthur."

"Uther is keeping Arthur in the dungeons," Morgana relays. "I can distract him long enough for you to find a way to get down there."

I thank her for the information before going to relay the news to Gaius. We come up with a plan. I shall take a plate of food down for Arthur, and hopefully he will find a way to slip the flower to me. Gaius is hesitant, but I cannot watch Merlin suffer like this any longer.

My hands are shaking as I approach the dungeons. The guards don't question me as I descend deeper below Camelot.

"Food for the prisoner," I give as an answer to the guard who stands just outside of Arthur's cell.

He motions me forward. The prince sits against the far wall, sitting just below a window. He is not chained the way that I was, but he looks haggard nonetheless. He looks up at seeing me, but he shows no indication of hope. I do not know what to think.

"Set it down over there," he looks to the table at the side of his cell, and I oblige.

I am still waiting for some indication of whether or not he has retrieved the flower. I receive none. I stand back away from the table unsure of what to do. Should I leave? Should I stay?

"Thank you," the prince stands and walks over to the bread and cheese.

He picks up the plate. Dejected, I turn to leave.

"Wait a minute," I turn back around. "I couldn't possibly eat this, it's disgusting."

My heart soars. Does this mean what I think it means? I rock on my feet, looking to the guard watching our entire exchange. Arthur is not finished.

"That state it's in, I'm not sure it's fit for anyone," he looks away from me, resuming his position on the floor.

I walk to the table, reach down to pick up the plate. It's there. I'm not sure that I've ever seen a flower so beautiful, or maybe I'm so happy to see it's yellow petals because in it is the answer to saving Merlin. I strain to keep the smile from my face as I look to Arthur. We have a secret, and it's both thrilling and terrifying. If I am caught…well I don't want to think about that.

"You, wait," a guard stops me just before the stairs. "Waste not, want not, eh? We're not all as precious as her Royal Highness."

He picks up a piece of bread from the plate. I wonder if he'll say anything of the flower. I want to scold him for mocking the prince. I have a newfound respect for Arthur Pendragon. I don't, though. I only want to get back to Merlin.

I turn to leave just as another servant comes down the stairs. I quicken my step.

"Food for Prince Arthur," she states.

"Stay where you are!" the guard yells at me, his mouth half full of bread.

I am already halfway up the stairs though. I drop the plate, keeping only the flower in my hand and race to Gaius's chamber.

"How is he?" I am out of breath as I enter the room.

Gaius ignores my question altogether, "Have you got the Mortaeus?"

"Here," I hold the yellow flower out to him.

"His breathing's much worse. We have to hurry."

I sit next to Merlin. He is sweating profusely. His eyelids have gone transparent and almost purple in color as his veins show through. Gaius grinds the Mortaeus with his mortar and pestle. I wait anxiously when I realize the noise from the older man has stopped.

"Why have you stopped?" I look up to him in confusion.

"The poison was created using magic, we may need magic to make an antidote."

But if this is the case then Merlin will surely die. I think desperately. Why didn't Gaius think of this before? We could have found someone…I think to my last few weeks in Camelot. No, no one would dare practice magic, especially not in the castle. If the antidote requires magic then Merlin will surely die.

"But we can't," I shake my head. "It's forbidden, even if we could…"

Gaius cuts me off, "I'll try and make it work without."

I'm scared now. I look anxiously to Merlin, willing the antidote to work.

"Oh, I need some fresh water," Gaius passes me a jar, and I gather my skirts to leave quickly.

I rush from the room to get the water, thinking about which supply is nearest to me. I rush to the kitchens, hoping that the cook will have gone to the well earlier today. I fill up the tiny jar, and rush back to Gaius. His antidote is now black and he pours it in with the water.

"Hold his nose," he commands me.

And he quickly pours the antidote down Merlin's throat.

"Swallow, Merlin," Gaius instructs. "Swallow it."

I'm scared when I see no movement from his throat or mouth, "He's stopped breathing. What's happening?" I look to the older man, "Gaius?"

But he has no response for me, he checks his pulse in his chest, "His heart has stopped."

"He's dead?" the shock ripples through my body.

"He can't be."

The tears well up in my eyes, I can't move.

"It was his destiny," Gaius stands in disbelief, but I am rooted to my chair.

"It's my fault," I hear the words coming from my mouth, but I have no sense of what I am saying. "If I'd have gotten here sooner. If I'd have been quicker…"

"No, no," Gaius holds out his arm for a hug. "It was me. I should have looked after him better." I embrace him back, resting my head on his chest. "It's my fault."

"That's disgusting," I nearly cry out in joy at Merlin's voice. "You're old enough to be her grandfather." He sits up from where he's lying; sweat dripping off of him in waves.

"Merlin, you're alive!" Gaius exclaims.

A smile spreads over my entire face, as I laugh.

"No," he utters sarcastically, "I'm a ghost come back to haunt you."

He's barely said his last word when I take his face in my hands and press a chaste kiss to his lips. He looks at me in shock when I pull away, and I fear that I have done something wrong.

"Sorry. I'm just…I thought you were dead," I give as way of reasoning, Gaius's hand on my back reminds me that he's in the room, and a warm blush creeps up through my neck.

"It's fine," Merlin breathes heavily. "It's more than fine."

My heart flutters. Does that mean that he liked it? He's looking at me, with a strange expression on his face until he realizes that we cannot stare at one another forever.

"Um," he shakes his head, "what happened?" Gaius and I look to each other. "The last thing I remember is drinking the wine."

Gaius leaves to tell the king that we no longer think that Bayard tried to kill Arthur, letting me relay the past days events to Merlin. We speak for hours, he lies back to regain his strength, and I sit at his side. I tell him of Arthur's adventures behind blushing smiles, and quiet laughs. And when I take his hand in mine, he does not pull away.


	5. Meeting Lancelot

I kissed Merlin. He said that it was more than fine. I can't stop thinking about what he said, how he looked. I kissed him. There can be no doubt in anyone's mind that I like him now. Gaius knows, Merlin knows, but I really don't mind. He said that it was more than fine.

My heart leaps when he finds me cleaning Morgana's chamber.

"Gwen," his knock on the door is hesitant, and I smile when he pokes his head into the room.

I smile so wide that I feel the sides of my eyes crinkle, and I try to stop the slight tremor in my voice, "Hello."

"I need to ask you a favor," he asks.

"Anything," I answer immediately. "I mean," I don't want to sound too eager, "anything within reason of course."

"I need clothes and armor for a knight."

"What?"

"I need you to sew an outfit, and I need a new set of armor."

"There are practice sets in the armory," I'm puzzled.

Merlin knows this. He has worn the practice armor loads of times while he has helped Arthur prepare for tournaments.

He thinks about what he's going to say. His brows have a way of drawing together when he is thinking about what he is going to say.

"I need an outfit fit for a knight, though," he draws out the last word. "It's for a friend."

I can tell that something isn't right. Merlin isn't doing a very good job at hiding that he is doing something questionable. And yet, I know that I'll make sure that my father gets it done. I would do anything for the boy before me.

"Who is this friend of yours?" I look at him through narrowed eyes.

"He's called Lancelot," Merlin nods, "and you'll meet him when you come to take his measurements?" Merlin cocks his head to the side, sending me a hopeful smile.

_Thanks for giving me an option_ I think to myself.

"I'll be around after I've finished for the day with Morgana," I nod.

"Perfect!" Merlin thanks me before darting off.

I laugh and shake my head before returning to tidying around the room. I hope that he brings up the kiss soon.

* * *

><p>He's wearing a blue tunic with black pants. He has long, straight hair and piercing brown eyes. His skin has been tanned by a number of days working under the heat of the sun. Lancelot is no knight that I have ever seen, but I will admit that he is quite a handsome man.<p>

"I'll just get started then," I kneed to the floor to begin his measurements.

Merlin sits on the bed watching us, as I kneel beside the other man.

"Just stand still, and I'll have everything done before you know it," I instruct Lancelot as I take the measurement of his inseam.

I can feel the body heat radiating off of him, see the nervous twitch as my hands brush his thigh

He clears his throat, breaking the silence in the room, "This is very kind of you, uh…" it takes me a moment to realize that he is speaking to me.

I look up, making mental note of the diameter of his thigh, "Gwen."

"Gwen," he repeats slowly watching as I rise from the ground and take the length of his arm.

"Short for Guinevere," I answer the unasked question.

"Ah," he smiles, and I smile back, "then thank you, Guinevere."

No one calls me my full name. I've been Gwen since I was a child, but there is something in the way that my name rolls off of his tongue that makes me blush. When I look up, his eyes are there waiting to meet me. I look away, turning to walk to his back.

"Don't thank me, thank Merlin," I turn to send him a smile. "Merlin would do anything for anyone, wouldn't you, Merlin?"

He smiles and brushes off my question.

"Sorry," I touch Lancelot's back lightly so he'll know that I'm addressing him. "Can you just raise your arms?" He lifts his arms and I reach around for his chest measurement.

I apologize for my proximity. I'm close enough to smell the soap on his clothes, his sweat from a day of work. When I look up, his face is tilted back. Our eyes meet again, and I see a smile dance on his lips before I look away.

He faces forward while I note the measurements. I find a scar right on his neck. I shouldn't be looking so closely. I come around to his side.

"I think it's great that Merlin's got you this chance," his gaze is so intense that I have to look away.

I take his neck measurement, " We need men like you."

He looks down at me, I'm suddenly aware of our proximity. I'm not shy this time when our eyes meet. I'm speaking the truth. We need brave men like him.

"You do?" he's asking for me to reassure him and for some reason, I suddenly think that he's talking about me and not about Camelot as a whole.

"Well not me personally," I point to myself. "But," his eyes haven't left mine, "you know, Camelot." He looks away from me then, and I glance at Merlin to see him watching us amusedly.

I hurry to try to clarify what I'm trying to say, "Camelot needs knights. Not just Arthur and his kind," Lancelot looks down at his feet, "but ordinary people like you and me."

"Well, I am not a knight yet," he smiles, "my lady."

I don't think that I've ever looked into someone's eyes for this long, "And I am not a lady."

Our smiles widen as I laugh at the notion of me, a lady of Camelot.

"Sorry. I," he hasn't found the notion as funny.

I glance away from his gaze, "Okay, we're done." I take the measuring tape. "I should have these ready in no time."

Merlin stands from the bed coming over to where we are.

"It was nice to meet you, Lancelot," I put out my hand for a shake.

Lancelot takes a deep breath before pressing a soft kiss to my extended hand. Merlin looks at us in confusion before heading out. I find my eyes searching for any response from him. I receive none. He waves as he exits. Lancelot follows, and I'm left all alone.

* * *

><p>Morgana has excused me for the day, and I find myself at the practice fields with Merlin and Lancelot. Lancelot looks great in the outfit that I've sewn for him and Merlin is making sure that the armor is done up correctly. Lancelot is shaking where he stands.<p>

I place a hand on his arm, hoping to calm him. He smiles at me, and I return the smile. I want to convey to him that everything will be all right, but I'm suddenly very aware of Merlin standing right next to us.

"Well, you certainly look the part," Merlin comes around to inspect my handiwork.

"Doesn't he just?" I'm proud beneath his scrutiny.

Although now that I think about it, I realize that Merlin really hasn't said anything at all to me about my work. He's been so preoccupied with Lancelot and making sure that all works out. I'm proud of him for being so in tune with the needs of his friends, but I'm also slightly hurt. We haven't spoken about the kiss. He hasn't thanked me. Sure, Lancelot has a number of times, but I didn't do it all for Lancelot.

"I don't feel it," Lancelot shrugs, trying to get comfortable beneath all the armor, and I shake off my thoughts of Merlin. I don't have time for that right now.

Prince Arthur begins to approach us, preparing to give Merlin his armor to care for.

"Here's your chance," I smile. "Go for it," Merlin commands the nervous man.

Lancelot nods to himself before approaching Arthur. I can't hear what they're saying, they're too far away. But I wait for any indication that things are going well. I wait for a handshake or a smile. None can be seen from the prince and Lancelot does not face me. Arthur walks around the stand and reaches out for Lancelot's seal. Lancelot obliges with a bow when Arthur smacks him across the face.

My stomach falls as Lancelot falls to the floor. Arthur's next words are spoken loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Sluggish reactions," he's humiliating Lancelot who still sits on the ground. "On the battlefield, you'd be dead by now," Arthur turns away. "Come back when you're ready."

Lancelot quickly comes to his feet, "I'm ready now, sire."

"You are, are you?"

Lancelot, Merlin, and I all nod in agreement.

"Fine. You can start by cleaning out the stables," Lancelot turns to Merlin and I crestfallen, but we know the prince, and we know that this is Lancelot's chance.

* * *

><p>I don't see Lancelot again for a couple of days, but Merlin informs me that Arthur has allowed him into basic training after an incident where he proved himself in the stables. I want to congratulate him, to let him know how proud I am that he's made it this far, but I know that I would probably run over my words. I would probably say the wrong thing as I always do; I would probably embarrass myself, so instead I stay out of the way. When Merlin tells me that Lancelot will be tested; however, I ask Morgana for the day off so that I can be there to support him. He doesn't seem to have anyone else really.<p>

"Well, here we are," Prince Arthur walks amongst the knights.

He embodies bravery, his shoulders back, head held high. There is an air of confidence that surrounds him that only the knights seem able to achieve. _Except Lancelot_, I think to myself. I chide myself in my head. Lancelot will get there; and yet, I know that I'll be disappointed if he becomes anything other than what he is now with his furtive glances and melodic voice. Lancelot looks _at_ me; he looks into my eyes while the other knights look over me, barely acknowledging my presence.

I glance over at Merlin. And then there's him. Merlin, who I think, if I'll admit it to myself, I've liked since the moment that he got here. He's so different from the rest of them. He's not haughty or particularly brave. He is gangly and much too pale to be healthy, but he is Merlin. Theirs is something so personable about him that we all seem to be attracted to. But Merlin is preoccupied, I've realized. Though, I like Merlin, he's always running off for Arthur and Gaius, unable to give me the time that I thought we would have after I kissed him.

"Succeed and you will join the elite," the prince walks so that he stands in front of Merlin and myself.

My musings on the men of Camelot halt so that I can listen to our prince.

"Fail, and you journey ends here," Lancelot nervously brushes a piece of hair from his face.

He looks over to me, and I smile as a sign of encouragement. I can see his breath leave his body; I can see his shoulders relax as he smiles back to me nodding his head as though reassuring himself. He is ready. I know it, and I think he knows it now too.

"Lancelot, fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria," my breath quickens as Arthur looks back and the time is set, "your time starts now."

Lancelot must last for at least a minute in combat against the prince, and though I have every confidence in Lancelot's ability, I have seen Prince Arthur fight. They put on their helmets, unsheathe their swords, there is a moment of hesitation before Lancelot strikes and the battle is on. They seem well matched. I nearly squeal when Lancelot gets a hit in on Prince Arthur's helmet. A few moments later Prince Arthur ducks the blow, I gasp, grabbing the object closest to me. It happens to be Merlin's shirt, and I pull away embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," I respond when I see him looking at me curiously.

I always think it's interesting to watch sword fights. It's interesting to see how the power shifts throughout. Lancelot seems to be dominating this one, moving too quickly for Prince Arthur to truly advance. The prince seems to be only defending himself against Lancelot's blows. The power has shifted and now lies with Arthur, and I watch with baited breath as Arthur throws a punch at Lancelot's chin, effectively leveling the man. His helmet goes flying, and he doesn't move. I want to run out and make sure that he is okay. That wouldn't be appropriate, though. I remain where I am with Merlin.

We applaud the prince's victory alongside the knights, though our applause is not because we are actually happy with these results, our applause is because we feel compelled to do so.

"Shame," the prince peers over Lancelot's motionless body.

It happens almost too quickly for me to understand what is happening. Lancelot's eyes open as Arthur reaches down to grab his scarf. He grabs the future king's foot, pulling him down to the ground beside him before popping up and taking his sword from his side.

The prince lies in shock on the ground, Lancelot's sword to his chest.

"Do you submit, sire?"

I grin as three knights pull Lancelot away. The prince seems very upset; he grabs his sword from the ground and commands Lancelot to his knees. Merlin seems nervous, but I've seen enough of Prince Arthur and his knights. Lancelot has done well.

Prince Arthur presses his sword into Lancelot's chest, "My father will knight you tonight."

Lancelot barely gives Prince Arthur time to leave before he bounds over to Merlin and I. He grabs my hand, kissing it excitedly.

"Thank you," his dark brown eyes peer into mine. "Thank you, both," he turns away from me to look at Merlin as well, grasping his forearm. He does not let go of my hand.


	6. I Would Choose Him

I don't think that I've been this happy in a long time. I'm bursting with pride as I watch the King and Lancelot. He's done it! He is officially a knight of Camelot. I cannot even imagine how happy that this will make Merlin.

"Arise, Sir Lancelot," the King pauses for effect, "Knight of Camelot," a round of applause fills the air of the room.

I don't think that I've seen the king ever send this kind of smile to anyone. It's the kind of smile that makes the sides of his eyes crinkle. He's allowed another man into his band of brothers, into his family. I cannot even imagine the joy that Lancelot must be feeling. This is his dream. He has Merlin, Prince Arthur, and the knights now. He's no longer alone.

_And me, _a voice in the back of my head sings.

_And me,_ I nod in agreement.

There is a warm place in my heart for the man standing before me. I thought that I liked Lancelot because of Merlin, but there is something captivating about him. He looks at me like no one else has, and I blush at the idea of his kiss lingering on my hand from the week before. There is something comfortable but also unfamiliar about him. There is something that makes me want to get to know him more.

"Who is this man?" I can see that Morgana is captivated by him, "He seems to have come from nowhere."

"I know," I bring my hands to rest at my front, right above my apron. "He's been a bit of a surprise to all of us."

"Yes, but how did he come to be here?" Morgana persists.

"He rescued Merlin from a beast in the forest," I answer. "They met there, and then Merlin introduced him to Arthur. Merlin said that Lancelot always wanted to be a knight and to serve under the King of Camelot."

Morgana nods, her eyes never leaving Lancelot. I'm not sure that she is satisfied with my response, but she allows it.

I follow her gaze with a slight unease. I will admit that I am not sure exactly what is going on with Merlin and Lancelot. It is clear to me that they are in on something together, and I can only hope that it is nothing that will get either of them in trouble. What I _do_ know is that I would rather my lady not get too suspicious lest she say something to the king.

"Well," I bring her attention back to me, and nod towards the door, "let's get you ready for tonight, shall we?"

I allow Morgana to lead the way towards her chambers through the darkening hallways. We have a feast to prepare for.

* * *

><p>She has chosen the deep purple dress for tonight. I can see that it's quickly becoming one of her favorites. She wears it every time that she wants to make an impression on a gentleman of the court. I wonder to myself whom she is trying to make an impression on tonight. Part of me hopes that she's not wishing for the affection of Lancelot. I would much rather her vie for the prince's attention. I shake the thought from my head…I like Merlin. Whether Morgana is interested in Lancelot or not is none of my concern.<p>

"Are they watching?" Morgana questions coyly.

I glance over to where I noticed Prince Arthur and Lancelot sitting earlier, drinking their wine and taking in the praise of everyone around them. The prince is looking to Morgana, that much is clear. He looks up and down her body, taking in her bare shoulders and her collarbones greedily. I know not how Morgana could walk about the court in the dress knowing that every man is thinking about her in a way that is less than pure. I wonder how King Uther lets her get away with it. But then Morgana has always had this sort of confidence about her, and the king has never been able to scold her no matter how outrageous her behavior. Morgana loves to be the center of attention, where I feel much more comfortable blending into the background, able to go wherever I want to unnoticed.

Prince Arthur says something to Lancelot, and I look to see the other man's response. Rather than finding him staring at Morgana though, I catch his eye. He's looking at me, not at Morgana. I feel the blush creeping up my cheeks warming my chest and neck. I quickly avert my gaze.

"Of course they are, my lady."

Morgana simply smiles at the information and turns away from me, "I'm going to have some fruit."

"I can get it for you, my lady," I curtsy.

"No, I'll get it myself," she insists. "Go see Merlin," she smiles as though she knows a secret that I don't.

I shake off the feeling. I _would _love to spend an evening with Merlin, so I do as she insists. I chide myself as I walk away from her. I should have put up more resistance. She and I both knew that I would end up with Merlin, but I could have made it seem more like I did not want to shirk my duty and spend time with him. Nonetheless, my eyes quickly find him on the other side of the banquet table.

"Gwen," he smiles in greeting. "Enjoying the evening?"

"Very much so!" I nod. I refrain from touching him, "He's done it! Lancelot's done it!"

Merlin's grin spreads if that is possible, "I knew that he could."

I watch Merlin as his eyes seek his friend amongst the crowd. He finds his friend, and I look too catching Lancelot's eye and blushing again. Why do I always seem to find him looking at me? At this rate, I am going to be some shade of red all night long. I look back to Merlin, catching a sly grin spread across his face.

"You know what?" he doesn't allow me time to respond. "I think our Sir Lancelot might have eyes for you, Gwen."

I scoff, looking towards Lancelot and Prince Arthur; they seem to be in deep conversation now, "Don't be silly."

I look down to my feet to keep my eyes away from Merlin, force a smile. I want to tell him that I don't care whether or not Lancelot likes me. I mean, it's flattering, sure, but I've only had eyes for Merlin for quite some time now. I wish that I had some of Lady Morgana's courage now. I wish that I was brave enough to just reach up and kiss again now.

"So what if he did? Would that really be so bad?"

Does he even remember that we kissed? I wonder quite often if I imagined it all. Yes, it would be bad Merlin because _I _like _you_.

I let out an audible sigh, "He's not really my type."

"Oh," he turns away from me. "There's a surprise."

I do not understand why that is a surprise. I know not how I could have made it any more obvious that I have no desire for the king or any of his knights. I have told Merlin on so many occasions that I like normal men, I like men like him. I even kissed him! I try to hide the frustration from my face.

"Sometimes," he reaches a hand out towards me, "Guinevere," yes, Merlin you have my attention, "I wonder if you'd know what your type was if he was standing right next to you."

"You're probably right," I answer, the smile slipping from my face.

Is he daft? I wonder how much he's had to drink tonight. I kissed him! I kissed him square on the mouth less than two weeks ago. Gaius knows about it, I know about it, and Merlin seems to either have forgotten about it _or_ maybe he just found it insignificant.

"So, come on. Just for the sake of argument," I think I know where he's going with this, and I want him to stop. "If you had to, Arthur or Lancelot?"

I look towards my choices. Prince Arthur is young. He is headstrong and stubborn. He has been raised by the King to pay no attention to anyone of a status lower than his. He teases the Lady Morgana, but I can see that he cares for her. He cares for Merlin as well. I have seen a side of Arthur in these past weeks since Merlin's arrival that I had never expected, and I will admit that I am impressed with him. He is brave. He is strong. He's certainly not lacking in the looks department.

But then there's Lancelot. Where Prince Arthur still has growing up to do, Lancelot looks every part a man. He has the long flowing dark hair. The eyes that seem to pierce my soul every time that he looks at me. He has a hint of stubble on his chin. I glance away when he looks over at us. More importantly, Lancelot is brave and humble. He is kind and tender. He treats me like I am a lady of the court. He treats me like I am a lady of his station.

I laugh, I would never share these thoughts with Merlin, "But I don't have to and I never will," I sing.

"Oh, you are no fun, Gwen."

_Oh, you are going to have quite the headache tomorrow, Merlin, _I respond in my head blaming the entire conversation on his now empty goblet. I chuckle along with him.

And then Prince Arthur is drawing our attention to him, rising to stand on a bench so that he towers over the crowd.

"Ladies and gentlemen," his oratory skills are improving I notice, "Please join me in a toast," he looks around the room to every person, "to our new recruit."

Prince Arthur bends down to hoist a reluctant Lancelot up beside him, "Our new knight of Camelot," he continues, "Sir Lancelot."

The crowd cheers. I can see his father in our future Prince. Arthur is regal and brave. He commands the attention of all those around him. But you can still see the boyish youth in him as he claps Lancelot on the back. I hope that he retains that. It makes him more accessible. I applaud as the room raises a glass to Lancelot.

I would choose him, I realize. Between Prince Arthur and Lancelot, I would choose Lancelot.

* * *

><p>"Have a good day, father," I kiss my father on the cheek before rushing from our home to the castle.<p>

I need to be there before Morgana rises, though truth be told, that doesn't happen often. Morgana has suffered from nightmares for as long as I have known her, and they're only becoming worse with age. My lady rarely sleeps through the night anymore, and even with the help of wine from last night, I doubt that this morning will be any different. And so, I'm not surprised when she is sitting at the table with her breakfast when I enter her chamber. Another maidservant, Ethel, sits at the table with Morgana, and I go to make the bed.

"Gwen," Ethel's tone sounds like gossip, and I smile to myself at the younger woman's eagerness. "Have you heard?"

"Of course she hasn't, Ethel," Morgana dismisses her.

I can hear it in Morgana's voice. She's irritated that Ethel has asked me first.

"What is it that I haven't heard?" I don't turn from the sheets.

"It's Lancelot," I can hear the excitement of drama in her voice

"What's happened with Lancelot?" I demand turning from my duties.

They both smile at each other. They know that they've captured my attention.

"He's in the dungeons," Morgana informs me matter-of-factly. "He's broken the first code of Camelot."

"The first code of Camelot?"

"Knights can only be chosen from the noblemen of Camelot."

Everything else that is said falls upon my deaf ears. Did Lancelot and Merlin know about the code? Did they choose to defy it? Well, they must have, I realize. Lancelot presented Arthur with his papers right in front of me. They must have been faked. I want to cry. I wonder if Merlin has heard. I want to go down to see Lancelot. Has anyone been down to see him? I curse to myself, it will be a busy day for Morgana and me. I'll have to try and sneak away at some point.

I go back to fixing the bed, not wanting Morgana and Ethel to see how troubled I am by this recent development. I quickly wipe away the tears that have begun to well up in my eyes. I've been in those dungeons. I can't imagine Lancelot down there.

"I knew something seemed strange about him," Morgana continues to Ethel. "I just couldn't place what it was."

I wonder if she actually found something strange about him or if it was only that he didn't show her the attention that she is accustomed to.

"He's not of your class, my lady," Ethel responds. "He doesn't deserve to be a knight of Camelot."

"Ethel," I struggle to keep my voice even, "I'm sure that you're missed in the kitchen.

I do not turn to see their responses, but I'm sure that Morgana and Ethel are surprised by my outburst. Neither of them says anything at my dismissal of the younger girl. I suddenly dislike her immensely.

* * *

><p>I couldn't get away. I couldn't get away to see Lancelot until it was after curfew. But with this beast running about, the king has imposed a curfew upon Camelot, and I dare not be caught outside after hours. I hope that I'm able to see Lancelot before anything happens to him.<p>

There is a knock at my door, I turn from where I am sewing a robe of Morgana's, startled. His skin is bathed in candlelight as he steps into my modest workspace.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, my lady."

"Lancelot," I am so happy to see him, I want to rush and throw my arms around him, "what are you doing here?"

"I have no time to explain," he's confident, a trait that was unfamiliar to him up until this point. I silently thank Prince Arthur for giving him the confidence that he deserves, "I need weapons and armor. The best that you've got."

"But what's this all about?" I have a suspicion, but he wouldn't defy the king twice would he?

I know that the knights headed out earlier tonight to defeat the monster in his own territory. It seems less than smart to me, but I respect the knights trying to keep danger away from Camelot. I only worry because it means that the creature has the upper hand; he will be familiar with the land.

"Arthur stands in mortal peril," he seems to be steeling himself against a less than willing reaction from me, but I know that he must do this, for himself more than anything, "I must do what I can to protect him." He continues to defend himself, "It is my duty. Knight or not."

My chest falls, I know that no man can be a knight without a noble seal, but I can't help but hope that Arthur could make some kind of exception for this man. Lancelot clearly belongs by his side.

"You really believe that, don't you?"

"Yes, my lady."

His loyalty moves me, "Lancelot, I don't believe that I have ever met your like before."

"Guinevere," he moves to stand closer to me, "If I should not return…"

I don't let him finish. I'm not sure what compels me to say it, but I take a step to move closer to him, "Don't go, Lancelot."

I can't bear the thought of him dying to save Prince Arthur. I know that he feels it is his duty, but I know that I wouldn't be able to bear it.

"Please," my voice is strong, though I do not feel it.

He looks into my eyes, as he takes a few moments to decide. I know that I cannot change his mind.

"But go, I must."

I nod, going to fetch him what I can. I help him with armor that is as close to his size as I can get. We have no true weapons that I can spare, but I arm him with a jousting lance. I try not to imagine how close he will have to get to the beast in order to use it.

Lancelot thanks me, and goes to ready his horse. I've barely said goodbye before my legs are pumping as hard as possible. I need to find Merlin. He'll be able to fix this. He'll be able to do something.

"Merlin," I burst through the doors of Gaius's chambers. I know not what my best friend can do, but I need him to know,"Lancelot is riding out to kill the griffin."

"What?" Merlin stands in confusion.

I have no time to answer his inquiry before my words have sunk in. He doesn't even ask me where Lancelot is. But he is out the door, running to what I hope is a horse to follow his friend.

Gaius looks to me gravely, and I realize what I've just done. I've sent them both out to their deaths, Lancelot equipped with a jousting lance, and Merlin with the small dagger that he picked up from Gaius's wooden table. I pray for their return.

* * *

><p>They were successful. I rejoice in that fact when Merlin and Lancelot return to Gaius's chambers. I throw my arms around Merlin's neck, I need to feel him to know that he is real. He let's me go and moves to Gaius.<p>

Lancelot does not. He moves towards me, but he doesn't touch me. He's letting me decide how I'd like to handle this. I rest a palm on his broad chest, the other coming to his neck. He rests his forehead against mine. I can feel the hesitation as his hand comes up to my arm. And I realize that I've been holding my breath for this moment. I'm ecstatic that he is safe. He is back here with me.

I realize that this if the first time that I've admitted that I wanted him here. This was not for Merlin. This was for _me. _I needed him here.

His thumb rubs a circle into the cloth of my sleeve. This feels like goodbye.

It seems like a small eternity later that he releases me, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to it, "My lady."

Those are the last words that I hear from Lancelot. I watch him ride out the next morning. He's been banished from Camelot by the king. He will never return to us.

"Lancelot?" I turn, startled when I hear Lady Morgana speak his name.

"Oh," I offer a sad smile, "yes."

"Come, Gwen. Busy day ahead."

"Yes, my lady," Morgana leaves, but I cannot help the backwards glance to Lancelot.

I would choose him, I realize. It's a scary thought, but I think that if I were to choose between Merlin, Arthur, and Lancelot. I would choose Lancelot, and he would have chosen me.


	7. Distractions

I've heard stories that people tell about the ache of a love lost. I'm not sure what I'm afflicted by, whether it is the ache of a love lost or just the ache of an unexplored possibility. No one has ever shown me the care and attention that Lancelot showed me. I don't want to go back. But then maybe that's all that this is. Maybe I'm only interested in the man because he was interested in me and now without him…I'm just Gwen again. Merlin cares, I know that, but I don't think that he'll ever be interested in me _in that way._ And to be honest, after Lancelot, I don't think that I would be satisfied with Merlin. Merlin is cute, Merlin is a boy where Lancelot was a knight. I chide myself for the thought. Maidservants do _not _find themselves in love with knights.

At the end of the day, Lancelot is gone. He can never return to Camelot and Camelot is home. I would never leave her. The cold reality sets in, but it cannot stop me from the thinking about all of our possibilities and what-ifs. The range of the scenarios that I've come up with is staggering. There are times when I think that Lancelot could have loved me despite my status. He would have loved me, and we would have been wed one day. I would have loved for him to meet my father. And then there's the other hand where I am sure that he would have fallen in love with a noblewoman of Camelot. I'm sure that Prince Arthur and the other knights would have reminded him of his status well above my own.

These have become my walks to and from the castle. I am lost in the fog of my thoughts and paste a smile on my face when I get to Morgana's chamber. I don't want her to think that I am preoccupied or unfocused. That's how one loses her position around here, and I cannot bank on our friendship to keep my job safe.

"Gwen!" I hear my name from behind and turn around to see Ethel.

"Good morning," I nod coolly.

I still haven't forgiven her for the morning when she insulted Lancelot. I know that it's irrational of me, but I cannot help it.

"These flowers are to go to Morgana," she dances nervously on her feet. "I figured I could walk with…"

"I can take them," I reach out to relieve her of the bouquet of white lilies.

"Oh," she is surprised.

I look to her to see if there's anything else. After a moment of silence I force a smile.

"Well, I will see you around," I give a slight nod and wheel around, leaving her standing alone in the hallway.

I'm going to need to apologize to her for that one day…

Morgana is standing at her table when I walk into her chambers with a large smile on my face. I wonder if it looks authentic or maybe just slightly pained. I feel like it looks more pained than genuinely happy.

"Look what's just arrived for you," I hand her the large bouquet of white flowers so that she may smell them.

"Who are they from?" she beams, taking them from my grasp.

"I don't know," I shrug. "Maybe Arthur."

I want to laugh at her pointed glare, "How disappointing."

"Why?" I'm curious. "Who would you like them to be from?"

"I don't know," she cocks her head, "a tall, dark stranger."

I can't help but think back to Lancelot. I wonder if she's thinking about him as well.

She passes the flowers back to me before I can dwell on the thought. I go to place them in a vase by her bed. I think that she'd like to see them upon waking in the morning. They truly are beautiful.

"Gwen?" Morgana calls me back to the table.

"Yes, my lady?" I ask.

"Go find Merlin," she insists. "See if he knows anything about the flowers. If they _are _from Arthur then I'd like to be prepared for any insufferable behavior at supper tonight."

I nod, "I'll find out."

"Thank you, Gwen," she dismisses me. "Oh, and Gwen?"

I turn back around from the exit, "Yes, my lady?"

"Be happy today," she commands. "The halls are sad without your cheerfulness to brighten them."

I only nod, venturing off to find Merlin. Morgana, I notice, is more perceptive than I would have ever thought, and I was right about the smile. It must have looked pained.

It does not take me long to find Merlin. I only have to ask a few servants and follow the noise of armor clamoring about the halls. He's in the armory, and I laugh when I find him cursing to himself.

"That's a pleasant sound," Merlin looks up when he hears me. "We've missed it around here."

"I don't know what everyone is talking about," I shake my head. "I laugh."

"You laugh less since Lancelot left."

I shake my head, "That's not true."

I can see that he disagrees. He just does not want to start an argument with me. I am thankful to him for that. I am thankful that he knows when to let things go.

"Well, Guinevere," Merlin sits back from his polishing to look at me more fully, "how can I be of service?"

"Did Arthur send anyone flowers today?"

"Flowers?" Merlin chuckles. "It's very possible that he sent some roses to himself, and he's waiting for me to be done so that I can rip the petals off one by one and shower him in the embodiment of his love for himself. If you mean someone else then I'll say when Uther legalizes magic in Camelot. No, wait, when Gaius stops asking me to clean out his leech tank. No," I roll my eyes at his dramatics, "when the cook_ learns_ how to cook," he nods, satisfied with himself. "That will be the day that Arthur sends flowers to another person."

"So you didn't bring any flowers to Ethel to be delivered to Morgana then?"

"Morgana has a secret admirer?" Merlin is excited, "We should figure out who it is!"

"I'm not sure…"

"Sir Balin is too old, I should think," Merlin ponders. "But Sir Gareth could quite possibly have sent her the flowers."

"I don't know…"

"What do you think?" Merlin places Arthur's armor on the ground to allow for pacing.

The blacksmith's daughter in me cringes at his treatment of the prince's armor.

"I think that I should not going to keep you from your duties," I reply backing towards the doorway.

"But Gwen," he protests, "this is important!"

"So are your chores, Merlin," I chide. "Arthur would not want you to shirk your duties."

"Clean my armor, water my horses, be my dueling partner," Merlin mimics the prince. "I could do with a break, Gwen."

"And when Arthur allows you that break then you can come find me, and we can think about who is sending Morgana flowers. But," I continue on my pathway through the door, "until then."

I allow my sentence to trail off as I turn back to Morgana's chambers. I smile when I hear Merlin shout my name through the halls. I wonder how much longer he will last as Arthur's manservant.

* * *

><p>"Maybe Arthur gave the flowers to someone other than Merlin," Morgana reasons as I undo the backing of her dress.<p>

"It's possible," I agree, pulling her dressing gown from her dressing screen as the dress that she wore this evening falls to the ground.

It seems that she wants the flowers to have come from Arthur, and I wonder what Morgana's true feelings for Arthur are. I know that she would never tell me though. Morgana has to pretend to be strong all of the time.

We carry on in silence as I move to pull back her comforter. She climbs beneath the thick blanket. I can feel her eyes on me as I put out each of the candles.

"See you in the morning."

She only smiles in response, and I pull the heavy doors to her chamber closed behind me.

Candlelight casts an eerie glow over the darkened hallways of Camelot. The shadows dance around me, distorting my shadow and casting distorted images around corners. I hurry through to the Lower Town. I want to be home with my father. I want to be home where I can dream about Elyan coming back to us. I can dream about Lancelot coming back to me. It is in my dreams when I can be with them.

"Gwen," my father greets me tiredly as I walk in the doorway.

"Father," I kiss him lightly, pressing a kiss to his forehead so that he does not have to stand from his seat at our wooden table.

"How was Morgana today?"

"She received flowers," I take the shawl that is wrapped around my shoulders and place it over the back of a chair, "from a secret admirer."

"That sounds like fun," he smiles.

"She is certainly taking it as such," I agree taking in his worn appearance. "You should sleep, Father. We will talk in the morning."

* * *

><p>When the morning comes, nothing seems to be going right. Everything seems off to me. I am late. I am never late. I will not have time to fetch water for my father's day or to make him lunch. I have to hurry off to the castle without speaking two words to him this morning.<p>

"My lady?" I call to Morgana anxiously as I climb the stairs to her chambers.

I know that she'll already be up, waiting for me.

"I am so sorry that I am late," I rush out as I walk through the doorway.

I receive no response and am surprised when I don't find Morgana sitting at the table as is usual of her.

"My lady?" I call again, walking to the back of her room where her bed is.

I am angry with myself when I see Morgana sleeping in her bed. I may have woken her up if I continued on. She never sleeps through the night, and if she is still sleeping now then I'd better let her sleep for as long as possible. I grab her laundry from the floor beside the bed and run to the kitchens to wash her clothes.

When I return from the kitchens there are two guards waiting for me at her door.

"May I help you?"

"The King requests the Lady Morgana's presence immediately," the one on the left commands.

"Just wait right here, and I will get her," I nod, sure that Morgana is awake by now.

And yet, the chamber is silent. When I approach the bed I realize that Morgana has not moved an inch. She lies eerily still on the bed before me.

"Morgana?" I approach cautiously, suddenly scared of what I may come to find. "My lady?" I reach out to touch her pale, cold skin. "My lady?" I know that I could go to the stocks, but I am scared and I shake her.

No response.

"Morgana?" I feel the tears of panic welling up in my eyes.

What if she is dead? How did I not notice that something strange was going on here before? Morgana is always awake before I get to the castle.

"Guards!" I yell in a panic.

No response.

"Guards!" they must hear the desperation in my voice because this time there is no hesitation they enter the room quickly. "Get Gaius and the king. Something is wrong."

They don't respond to me in any way, and I sit there by the side of my lady's bed, her cold hand clutched in my own. I was too distracted to realize that something was wrong. I have been too distracted, with my late morning and with my thoughts of Lancelot and Merlin. I pledge in this moment, to devote myself to my duties. I do not have time for anything else.

* * *

><p>I've never been alone with Prince Arthur, I realize. I've seen him grow up, sure. I've seen him around Merlin, but I've never been by myself with Prince Arthur. Until now, that is. I wonder what he could be thinking as I watch him pace back and forth outside of Morgana's chambers. We've been kicked out as Gaius performs his examination on her with Merlin. He just called the king in, and I anxiously await his diagnosis.<p>

I am nervous, I half expect for Arthur to bark something at me, to ask me if I don't have any other duties that I should be busying myself with. He doesn't. Instead he says nothing to me as he paces up and down the width of the hallway awaiting word from inside.

"You look tired," Merlin exits the room and addresses me.

I can feel my cheeks flaming under his gaze, and I do not dare to look at Prince Arthur right now. I sarcastically thank Merlin in my head. It's the first time that the prince of Camelot has looked at me, and he's going to be inspecting my face for dark circles and bags under my eyes.

"Thanks, Merlin."

"I didn't mean it in a…" he trails off searching for the right word, and I find myself smiling at his attempt.

"He's right," Prince Arthur speaks in a low tone. "You should go home."

"But, sire," I protest.

"Merlin and Gaius will be with her through today and tonight," Prince Arthur states. "Come back tomorrow, and we should have word," he looks to Merlin to confirm his story. "Until then you can't be any help."

And with that he's gone. The click of his shoes echo off the wall.

Merlin only shrugs at me, "I would kill for a day off."

And then he's gone too, following the prince toward his chambers. I sigh and make my way back home where I know that my thoughts will be plagued by everything that I could have done to help Morgana had I realized a little sooner that something was wrong.

* * *

><p>It's been two days since Morgana fell ill and there has been no change in her improvement. If anything, I can practically see the life leaving her. I'm waiting at the base of the stairway leading up to the servant's quarters of Morgana's room with Merlin when Gaius descends. I can tell by his face that there has been no improvement. If Gaius can't help her then I don't know who can. But it doesn't stop me from hoping.<p>

"Is she any better?"

Gaius shakes his head, and I hurry up the staircase. I don't want Morgana to be alone for even a second. She's become one of my best friends in the castle. It's her and Merlin, and I can't imagine losing either of them.

I want to do something, anything that I can for her. Usually, Gaius has me wipe the brow of those who are sick. But then that's when there is a fever present. Morgana has quite the opposite. Her skin is cold to the touch.

I haven't been home the past two nights. I hope that my father is not too worried. I sent word that I was with Morgana. I hope that he understands.

"I heard them, my lady," I sit at her bedside. "They say that you're going to die. You can't die, Morgana." I hold her frail hand in the roughened skin of my own hand, "I haven't told you about," I pause. I hope that she can't actually hear me, "my knight yet. I like him," I smile. "I like him a lot. And that truly is saying something, considering that I thought that I really liked Merlin before now."

I almost expect her to respond. If Morgana was awake right now, I know that she would be gloating that she knew before I could even tell her,

"That's not to say that I don't like Merlin anymore. I do," I pause, "I think. It's just that…Lancelot let it be known that he liked me back. There was never a question, no matter how I may have tried to hide it. With Merlin, I just always feel like there's something else more pressing, more important happening all the time. There's Gaius and Prince Arthur to please. I think that he needs a friend, not anything more."

I wonder if I decided this all before or if I needed a reason to no longer like my best friend.

"I did kiss him though," again, a pause.

No response.

"It was right after he was poisoned. When he woke up, I was so excited that he was still alive, and I kissed him. And it's not that it was bad or anything," I ramble on. "I liked it. It seemed that he liked it. He said that everything was alright. But then he never did anything about it. I'm not sure exactly what…"

The door to the chamber opens, and I spring off of the bed. I curtsy to the king and prince before hurrying out to give them their space. I don't want to get in the way.

It's a good half of an hour later when I return to my lady's chambers from helping in the kitchen. I've been trying to busy myself with anything that can keep my hands occupied. There is a strange man leaning over the Lady Morgana. I can tell from his cloak and from his head that he is not anyone who I've met before. I try to walk up slowly so that I can see what he is doing, but I've been caught, I quickly realize when he calls out to me.

"Why are you spying on me?" He turns as he says it.

His face is horribly disfigured, but I try not to focus on his deformity, choosing instead to look at my shoes, "I wasn't. I'm her maidservant."

He appears to be thinking on this, I don't like him. I don't like that he's alone with Morgana while she sleeps in the bed, in her nightclothes.

"Someone should be with her," I insist.

"Do you want to be responsible for her death?"

"No," I insist, "but…"

"Then you will bring me some water," he commands. "Now or she may die."

I watch him uneasily for a moment longer before nodding to myself and leaving the room. I really don't like him, but if he can help Morgana, then so be it. Still, I would feel safer with someone else nearby. I don't like the thought of him alone with her, but I leave nonetheless.

* * *

><p>When I return Morgana is awake. I am overjoyed that she is well again, but there is tension. Something is not right between Gaius and this new physician. I don't trust him. I don't trust him needing to be alone with his patients. He's a new man in Camelot, no one knows him well enough to vouch for him. I wonder what he was able to do that Gaius could not. You hear about people using magic despite it's being prohibited. I want him gone from Camelot, but I am a servant. If Prince Arthur and the King want this man around then it must be for some reason that I have yet to see.<p> 


	8. I Am Relieved

Camelot has always been my home. I grew up here. I lost my mother here. I lost my brother here. But it has never matter what has happened, I have always had two constants in my life. I have always had Camelot and my father.

Things are changing though, and there is unease in the air. In the past few months, magic seems to be making an aggressive return, what with the attempted assassination with the prince, the strange creatures that have attacked Camelot, and most recently with the healer who healed Morgana only to try to kill the king. I don't think that I am supposed to know about the last incident. Merlin and Gaius try so hard to keep everything from the rest of us, but we're not stupid. You see things around the castle, and servants speak to one another. Strange things are happening in Camelot, and I am frightened.

My father's forge is doing well. He creates some of the best quality armor and weaponry for the knights. He is proud of what he has created here, but I can't help but worry. Gaius tried to leave a few weeks ago. _Gaius._ Gaius has been a fixture of Camelot for as long as I can remember, and when that strange doctor with the burned face came into town, Gaius almost left. He didn't, of course. And to be honest, I don't think that he would have without Merlin, but the thought crossed his mind nonetheless, and that scares me.

Lancelot has gone from Camelot, Morgana seems to be distancing herself from me as her dreams worsen, and Merlin and Gaius seem to be working together more and more as these oddities keep occurring. Sometimes I think that the only thing keeping us here is my father's position. I know that he has a good base of people who trust him and his work but with his craftsmanship, I am positive that he could find work elsewhere. I've thought about suggesting the idea to him a number of times, I know what his response would be though.

He would tell me that when Elyan comes back to us. He will come to Camelot. _I_ fear that I have seen the last of my brother. I don't think that Elyan wants to come back to us.

I fold Morgana's sheets, going through the motions that I have performed so many times before. When I am going through my routine and do not have to think about my duties, I find myself thinking about these things. I think about leaving Camelot, and about my brother, I think about Lancelot often as well. I wonder where they both are and what they are doing. I wonder if they may have met each other in some outlying village of Camelot. I wonder if Elyan and Lancelot would like each other. I imagine they would. They're both handy with swords and eager for a good fight. I hope that they have found things in life that have made them happy.

I know that Elyan probably has. Elyan just needs a risky situation and a cold tankard of meade to please him.

I worry more about whether or Lancelot has. I hope that he has, though I know the only thing that he ever truly wanted was to be a knight.

_And me,_ I can't help the thought. _He wanted me too._

He wants two things that he cannot have. So long as Lancelot cannot enter Camelot, he cannot be a knight. So long as I remain in Camelot, Lancelot cannot have me.

It's that thought that worries me. Lancelot and I had nothing but a few touches, a lingering kiss on my hand; and yet, I've built it up in my head. I've built up our romance in my mind. This is so different than the crush that I had for Merlin. I had a friend in Merlin, but in Lancelot I found something more. In Lancelot, I _wan_t something more. I shake my head and look for Merlin. I was supposed to work without distraction. That was the pledge that I made when Morgana was poisoned. It's proving harder than I had anticipated.

"Gwen," Morgana calls to me from her table.

"Yes, my lady," I respond.

"Come taste what the cook has prepared this morning," she is cheerful, and I can only assume that she had a good nights rest.

She seems like her old self again. I take the goblet that she hands to me, it looks like water, but I can smell an earthy fragrance radiating from it. I lift the goblet to my lips, taking the smallest sip possible.

"Oh," I shake my head. "No, that's," I search for the word, "that's…"

"Really bad," she finishes for me with a laugh when the door bangs open.

Merlin stands in the doorway with a young boy. He has startling blue eyes. He can't be more than seven years of age.

"Have you forgotten how to knock, Merlin?" my smile drops as soon as I hear the anger in Morgana's voice.

"The guards are after him, I didn't know what to do," Merlin pants.

My attention goes to the boy. He is panting heavily, his eyelids drooping from the exertion. Why would the guards be after him? I wonder if he is a thief. Maybe he stole from the market, but I don't see anything on him that looks stolen. Both of his hands are visible in front of his cape.

I knock at a pounding from the door, "My lady?" A guard inquires, and I look to Morgana to see what she will to do.

Her brow is furrowed as she stares at the boy. She is dazed again; I can see it in her expression. The pounding comes again, and Merlin is now supporting the boy where he stands unsteady on his feet.

I am surprised when Morgana motions deep into her chambers behind the screen, "In there," she instructs.

She is going to harbor the boy.

Morgana squares her shoulders and opens the door, I step into the view of the guards resisting the urge to look behind me to make sure that Merlin and the boy are properly hidden.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, my lady," the guard at the front of the group peers into the chamber. "We're looking for a young, Druid boy. We believe he came this way."

"I haven't seen anyone," I am in awe of her lying abilities. "It's just me and my made, I can practically hear the smile in her voice.

"Best keep the door locked until we can find him," the guard instructs.

"Of course," Morgana dismisses the men with a slight nod before adding, "Thank you."

She closes the door and waits to make sure that she hears their footsteps departing. We rush across the room to look behind the screen where Merlin had taken the boy. Merlin supports the tiny body against his side. When he pulls his hand from the child's arms it is covered in blood. He has lost so much.

"I'll get water," I rush away to the kitchen.

My thoughts are frantic as I hurry away from Morgana's chamber. There is a part of me that doesn't want to go back. We are all in this now, Morgana, Merlin, and me. We are harboring a fugitive. He may be young, and he may seem innocent to Merlin and Morgana, but I can see that there is something strange about him. There is a reason that he was being hunted. That's when the other part of me pipes in. Not too long ago, I was hunted from Camelot myself. I should empathize.

I shake my head struggling to clear the thoughts. I need to get water. That is my priority. I cannot dwell on the thoughts in my head.

* * *

><p>Today is an execution day. I look out from the kitchen window where I am drying one of Morgana's dresses. An unfamiliar man stands in the center of the square up on a podium above the crowd. He seems resigned, defeated even. I wonder what he has done.<p>

The king walks out onto the balcony that I've seen him stand at so many times. Prince Arthur walks behind him, crossing his arms when he comes to a standstill. A hush falls over the crowd.

"People of Camelot," the king begins once there is not a sound to be heard, "the man before you is guilty of using enchantments and magic. Under our law, the sentence for this crime is death."

The man closes his eyes for a moment as if accepting his fate.

"We are still searching for his accomplice. Anyone found harboring the boy is guilty of conspiracy…" the king continues, but I have drowned him out.

The boy is a Druid! No wonder the king is adamant about his capture. The Druid people practice magic openly. Does Morgana know this? Why wouldn't Merlin have told us that he was a Druid _before_ he endangered our lives?

Another voice speaks, "You have let your fear of magic turn to hate. I pity you."

I turn from the window. I have seen this too many times. The man will be taken down to his knees, and the ax. I pause in my thoughts. I hear the clean sweep of the ax through the air. That would be me if King Uther had had his way.

I'm conflicted; I bring Morgana's dress from the window checking for any damp spots. I was almost convicted of practicing magic, a crime that I have never and would never commit. This boy openly practices magic, should he die for it? I wonder how he and his keeper were stupid enough to come to Camelot. Didn't they know that this would happen?

I have looked into the boy's eyes. He seems innocent enough. He doesn't seem evil at all. He was raised to practice magic, should he punished for the way that the Druids raised him. I don't blame him, I realize. I blame his parents. I blame the people who opened his eyes to such crime.

_That doesn't mean that he should die though_, it's the nagging thought in the back of my mind. Does anyone deserve to die for their beliefs? Should another ruler come to take over Camelot what would happen to those of us loyal to King Uther? We would be killed for what we believe and who we believe in. It's a cruel world that we live in.

I find myself back at Morgana's chamber. She is still kneeling over the boy, dabbing a damp washcloth upon his forehead. It's the same position that she was in when I left her last. She is going to wear herself out over this child.

"Let me care for him for a while," they both jump, and I chide myself for not making myself known. "You need to sleep."

Morgana turns to face me, and I see the fear clearly written upon her face. I look to the boy. Sweat drips from every pore of his tiny body, and his eyes stare vacantly at the ceiling above. I realize nervously that his wound must be infected. Infected wounds must be tended to…by a physician.

"You'll make yourself sick if you go on like this," I persist.

"His fever is getting worse," Morgana bites out the words through clenched teeth.

I'm not sure if it's for the boys sake so that he will not hear her, or if she thinks that saying it will make it a reality that she is not yet ready to face. I take a deep breath, trying to figure out how to continue when Morgana suddenly turns away from me.

"Did you hear that?"

"What?" I haven't heard anything.

"He said my name," she whispers astonished.

I haven't heard him say anything since he came to us, "Did he? I didn't hear anything."

There's a knock, "It's Merlin."

He sounds solemn. I stand to go to the door. I want to tell both he and Morgana how dangerous this is. I want to tell them that they are risking so much to help this boy that we do not know. And yet, it is clear to me that they both have some special bond with him. I don't want the boy to die, but we cannot keep him here either.

"How is he?" I kneel on the ground again, while Merlin looks over.

"He's getting weaker," Morgana doesn't even look at Merlin as she answers him. "Whatever you did yesterday hasn't worked. We have to ask Gaius for his help."

Merlin fidgets, scratching his head as if looking for any other possible solution. I don't want to involve Gaius either. One of two things can happen, Gaius decides to help and then there is another person involved in this mess _or_ Gaius refuses to help and tells the king. A large part of me knows that he would never do the latter, but I don't want to risk it either.

"After all you've done," Morgana senses Merlin's discomfort, "you can't give up now! Please, if he doesn't receive treatment he'll die."

"Okay," Merlin responds.

I watch Morgana. There is desperation in her that I've never seen before. I don't know how she can so blindly pledge her allegiance to this boy. I don't know how she can care for him so much after just knowing him for a few days. I don't understand the relationship, but it only makes me want this young child gone from Camelot sooner.

* * *

><p>Merlin returns with Gaius less than half an hour later. The old man is clearly upset with the way that we have handled the situation, and I assume with the situation that he finds himself in now.<p>

"I will treat the boy," he finally states after a thorough inspection, "but as soon as he is well, you must get him out of Camelot. And woe betide anyone caught helping him," he adds.

Merlin, Morgana, and I exchange glances as Gaius lets out another sigh.

"Well, one thing we know for certain."

"What's that?"

"You're no physician," he looks darkly back at Merlin before dismissing us so that he can work in peace.

Normally, Merlin would stay with him, but I suspect that Gaius is too angry to want to deal with Merlin right now. Morgana leads the way to the square. We remain silent, each lost in our own thoughts. I could die for this. I could be caught and executed for this boy. I wonder what my father would do without me. I wonder if Elyan would come back.

I _want_ to want to help. I _want_ to want to be the kind-hearted person that everyone wants me to be, but I can also acknowledge that this boy has done wrong by Camelot. I just have to decide whether or not I believe that he should die for it.

Morgana has stopped at a cart that offers an oil to make your skin look decades younger. I suspect that it is nothing but cooking oil with a bit of fragrance. I glance around seeing a set of guards stop a merchant with his wagon. Funnily enough, this is the first time that I've seen them do anything other than to stand stoically watching the people enter and exit Camelot.

"The guards are searching everyone leaving the town," I realize as I see another cart stopped.

"There is another way out," Merlin always surprises me with his wealth of knowledge of Camelot despite only being here for a few months, "There's a secret door in the armory. It leads to the lower town. I'll take the boy out that way," he offers.

"No," Morgana shakes her head. "It's too dangerous. I'll do it."

I'm perplexed. I don't understand why she would offer herself like that. I almost wonder it she does not trust Merlin.

"I'm good with secret doors and things," Merlin watches Morgana for a response.

"If you get caught, Uther will execute you," and I am suddenly glad that she has offered.

It's true. Merlin and I are but mere servants. Our lives are not worth those of noble status. King Uther has already tried to kill me once. I could not bear it if Merlin were caught and executed. He has become my best friend here.

"The boy is my responsibility," Morgana continues. "I'll smuggle him out of the castle.

"You'll need the key for the door," I realize that I'm not needed in this conversation.

"Who has it?"

"Arthur," Merlin responds solemnly.

Smuggling the boy from Camelot just became much harder.

* * *

><p>Morgana and the boy are readying themselves to leave tonight. We only need for Merlin to return with the key. I slip Morgana's cape over her shoulders wishing that she had something less bright than the red.<p>

"It will have to do," she sighs, looking at her reflection in the broken mirror.

I watch her. I can't help but be nervous about this. I wonder if she and the boy can hear my heartbeats quickening as we come closer to the hour of their departure.

"I feel I have put you in danger without ever stopping to ask how you feel about it," it's the first time that Morgana has addressed my feelings towards the situation, "I'm sorry."

Morgana's selflessness is certainly part of why I have come to admire and love her. I just feel that this time she may have looked at us as one unit, the lady and her maid. She put everything before me as she puts everything before herself. I search for an appropriate response.

"I know how it feels to face the threat of execution," I don't forgive her with the statement, but I know why she has put this child first, "and I wouldn't wish that on anyone." I hope that she accepts my answer.

There is a knock, "It's Merlin."

"Are you ready?" Merlin asks when he reaches Morgana and the boy.

Morgana nods, "Did you get the keys?"

"Yeah," he takes them from his pocket, "the door is behind the shield at the far end of the armory."

"I'll pack you some food and water for the journey," I point to where I've placed everything on her table. "Be careful."

Merlin and I nod to Morgana, Merlin casts a smile to the child. I hope that it all works out. I rehash the plan in my mind. The hardest part will be getting Morgana and the boy from the palace unnoticed. They are to sneak through the armory and then meet us at my father's house where Merlin and I are often seen going. I've made sure that my father is out at the pub with some friends of his tonight. After that, they just need to leave Camelot without being noticed.

"I hope they are okay," I break the silence. "Morgana really cares for the boy. I've never seen her this way with anyone."

I want him to tell me what is happening. I need for Merlin to tell me the bond that they share with the boy. I feel that I've been left out this entire time, and I do not know what to do or say. I feel unnecessary.

"I'm sure she just wants to protect him," I don't miss the nervous playing of his hands.

I don't miss it, but I shan't get an answer from him either.

It seems that Merlin is no longer as sure of the plan as he was in the past either. I don't press him. We wait in a nervous silence, Merlin pacing the room, biting his nails, while I watch him. When the bells sound I know that something is wrong. They must have been seen. I begin to pace with Merlin.

_Maybe this is good, _I reassure myself. Now all of the knights will be headed towards the palace and Arthur.

_Until he gives them orders to sweep the Lower Town,_ the thought nags me.

It's true. The knights of Camelot would be fools to believe that the boy had been spotted and was not trying to escape.

"They're coming," Merlin watches from a crack in the door, opening it quickly to allow the two in.

I breathe a sigh of relief. My lady is safe.

"There's enough food for three days," I reassure her, passing her a basket of supplies for their travels.

"Your horse is fed and watered. I'll take," but Morgana is already shaking her head, "you to it."

"No," she insists. "There's no point in all of us risking our lives."

"What about you?"

"I'm the king's ward. I'll take my chances," she's confident, but I am not.

"Morgana!" the tears are welling up in my eyes of their own accord.

"I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to either of you," it's true.

We would be executed for this crime, where I am sure that Morgana may be prohibited from having supper.

She doesn't let us say another word, "We must go."

She's gone as soon as she's arrived, and I wish that it had never happened. I wish that everything had gone as planned because I hear the footsteps approaching, I see their torches as they march past my window. She's in trouble.

"I'm going back," Merlin tells me. "If Arthur catches them then he'll bring them to the castle first."

I nod, unable to speak for fear that I may begin to cry.

"It will all be alright, Gwen," he places a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "It will all be alright," he says it a second time, and I'm sure that it's to reassure himself.

* * *

><p>"Morgana! You're safe," I throw my arms around her when I find her in her chambers.<p>

Best case scenario, she would have been in the woods with the boy, but I will accept her here with me.

She makes no move to embrace me, and I let go of her.

"You can have today off, Gwen," she won't look me in the eye. "I can't leave by the king's orders."

"I can keep you company," I insist.

"I'm just going to rest," she brushes me off. "Be back for dinner?"

I nod. Morgana is up to something. I just wish that I knew what.

* * *

><p>"The Lady Morgana was in Prince Arthur's chambers today," Ethel gossips to me when I've returned for the evening. "I think that there will be a wedding soon."<p>

"You do?" I cock an eyebrow at the younger woman's excitement.

"And how beautiful it would be. Can you imagine their heirs? So stoic, so beautiful…" Ethel drawls on.

I've realized that she's stopped and is waiting for my response.

"Absolutely," I think that agreeing with her is my best course of action. "Mogana is beautiful, and Arthur is so," I look for the right word, "so…"

"Handsome, and strong, and brave," she gushes.

I struggle not to roll my eyes. Thank the heavens, we are at Morgana's chambers.

"We'll have to continue this conversation later, Ethel," I cast a significant glance to the door of Morgana's chamber.

"Of course," she nods, giving me a quick hug.

I do wish that I liked Ethel more. I understand how hard it is being one of the youngest servants in the castle. Friends are hard to come by when we've been trained for specific tasks since birth. Merlin was one of my first true friends, and Morgana is slowly becoming a second. Ethel is just _so_ excited all of the time…

"Morgana!" I call when I enter her chamber when I don't see her.

She steps out of the shadows already dressed. Her hair is almost finished as well.

"I'm sorry," she is quiet. "I've just been so impatient sitting in here all day."

It's a lie, but I let her have it, "Here, let me help you."

She turns around so that I can fix a lock of her hair.

"Thank you."

I nod, unable to meet her eyes. I'm hurt that she's choosing not to involve me in what I'm sure is another scheme to escape with the boy. I worry about her attachment to him. We all know what his fate will be tomorrow.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I look up to meet her eyes; I should have hid my sentiments better.

"You're risking so much for this boy," she looks down. "You don't know anything about him. You don't even know his name."

"There's a bond between us."

_I'm aware._

"Stronger than the bond you have with Uther?" I can't help the shake in my head.

I may not like the king but he did take her in when she had no one else.

"It's like nothing I've efelt before," she looks confused, and I take pride in that. She does not understand it either. "Perhaps I was always meant to help him."

"How can that be?" I've never been one to believe in fate.

"I don't know," she admits. "I can't explain it."

We stare at one another in silence.

"I must go to Uther."

"Good luck," I don't know what she's planning, but I have a feeling that she'll need it.

I begin to tidy the chamber. Morgana may be able to get herself ready, but she certainly does not understand where everything goes. I place her dress from earlier that day in to be done with the rest of her laundry. I'm putting away her jewelry when the warning bell sounds. Somehow, I know that the boy is gone from Camelot. He is gone, Morgana is dining with Uther, and I am relieved.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**More Gwen/Arthur interaction coming up! Read and Review! Though, I love the private messages too! Thanks for reading.**


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